This story originally appeared on Fed Is Best and has been republished here with permission.
Landon would be five today if he were still alive. It’s a very hard birthday – five. It’s a milestone birthday.
Most kiddos would be starting kindergarten at this age. But not my little guy.
I wanted to share for a long time about what happened to Landon, but I always feared what others would say and how I’d be judged. But I want people to know how much deeper the pain gets.
I share his story in hopes that no other family ever experiences the loss that we have.
Jarrod and I wanted what was best for Landon as every parent does for their child. We took all of the classes. Bought and read all of the books. We were ready! Or so we thought...
Every class and book was geared toward breastfeeding and how it's so important if you want a healthy child.
Landon was born in a "Baby-Friendly" hospital. (What this means is everything is geared toward breastfeeding. Unless you’d had a breast augmentation or cancer or some serious medical reason as to why you couldn't breastfeed, your baby would not be given formula unless a prescription was written by the pediatrician.)
Landon was on my breast - ALL OF THE TIME. The lactation consultants would come in and see that "he had a great latch and was doing fine" but there was one who mentioned I may have a problem producing milk.