What do you do when you’re a 20-something year old (Hayley*), living at home AND the daughter of conservative parents BUT you want to move out with your boyfriend (Scott*)?
I’m the child of first-generation migrants.
We moved to Australia from South Asia when I was in primary school. My mum is Catholic and my dad is Buddhist – their conservative views come from two different places, but ultimately culminates in a very protected childhood.
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We are a ‘no sex before marriage’ and ‘no living out of home until marriage’ kind of household.
At 23, I met Scott. He was 29 and had lived out of home for over a decade by this point, and found it amusing that I had yet to take the plunge.
With the abhorrent cost of rent in Sydney, coupled with the fact that asking for such a thing would result in World War Three with my parents, I had never had a strong urge to move.
About a year in, as with many modern relationships, a time comes when a couple decides to move in together. I really really liked this guy, and had a good feeling about him possibly being ‘The One.’ The idea of asking my parents for such an audacious request fills me with dread, but Scott was worth it.
Now, since I was living at home, I couldn’t make the jump from home to living with Scott in one go. I needed a plan.
Stage One – Move out with a friend.
I pitched it as something temporary (it wasn't) and I’ll be back! (I won’t). But like with all things, baby steps, right? I picked a friend who they like and think is trustworthy.
‘I have never lived out of home, I want to experience the independence of looking after myself, I want to live closer to work and enjoy this time of my life!’ I told them... (Annnd I’d really like to be able to have my boyfriend stay the night, thanks.)