My house was killing me, and I didn’t work out how until it was almost too late.
I drag myself out of bed at 9am. Still exhausted despite sleeping for more than 11 hours. I prepare a bowl of food for Lumen (my dog), and as I put it down on the floor, she looks up at me. She’s not eating. Again.
I wander into the bathroom and peer in the mirror – the stupid rash around my eyes has spread even further. There are dark circles under my eyes that look like I haven’t slept in days. It doesn’t make sense. I’ve been sleeping more than 10 hours a night for the last week – and every morning I wake up more tired than ever.
My body aches, my hair looks stringy, oily and limp no matter how much I wash it. I have zero motivation to get out of bed let alone get to work. I can’t think straight. Even stringing a sentence together is hard these days. I feel like I’m losing IQ points every second.
I’m sick – really sick. And I have no idea what was wrong with me.
I’d been to the doctor four times in the last 2 months – each time I went in I was given another drug.
“Oh you’ve got a rash around your eyes? Here, use this steroid cream for a week. Come back in a week if it doesn’t work.”
“Yeah, but – what’s causing the rash? I’ve never had skin problems.” I ask.
“Oh nothing. These things just happen.”
I have no idea what’s going on.
My motivation to do anything fades. Staying in bed all day seems like the best option. I fall deeper and deeper into a hole.