kids

This five-year-old's hilarious fitting room comments about her mum's body are gold.

Bringing your child into the fitting room seems simple enough. They stand there while you shimmy out of your tattered clothes and squeeze into something new.

Maybe they’ll make a comment or two about their overwhelming hunger or sudden wave of fatigue, but surely they’ll absolutely adore what mummy is wearing, because they absolutely adore mummy, right? RIGHT?!

Unfortunately, life as a mother ain’t so straightforward. If you’re someone who wants honest advice from whoever is accompanying you in the change room, you should definitely look into having kids, according to mummy blogger Cassie Hilt. They’ll say it like it is, that’s for sure.

Listen: The big problem with change rooms. (Post continues after audio.)

During a trip to the store for a pair of new jeans, Cassie received completely barefaced, unfiltered commentary from her five-year-old child about her post baby appearance, and it was a little more real than warranted.

The moment Cassie began removing her clothing; her daughter began questioning the necessity of doing exactly that. “Mom, do you need to take all your clothes off?”

Ouch, but only a light sting. Brush it off, Cassie, brush it off.

“Oh my god, look at your boobs jiggling all over the place!!”

Boobs tend to do that.

“Look at your big tummy! It’s so cute and squishy! Do you have another baby in there?!”

Puppies are cute. Mum’s tummy? Not so much.

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“…You don’t want your lady beard to show???”

Beards are for the face, my love. Hair down there has it’s own name.

Lady beard... That's a first. Image: Cassie Hilt Facebook.

Not only did Cassie relive her every insecurity through her child, but the young girls in the adjacent change rooms were giggling away at what they were hearing. Cassie was mildly embarrassed, to say the least.

Listen to the full podcast here: