Image: “Oh god… is that a carpet burn?”
Thanks in no small part to the Divinyls, we all know there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. But if new figures are to be believed, at least a third of us are getting a little more pain than we bargained for.
According to a survey by online dating site Meetville, one in three unlucky people have sustained injuries during sex – and by ‘injuries’ we’re not talking about an accidental tooth-bump or the occasional toe cramp. Some lusty lovers are hobbling away with sprained wrists, twisted ankles, muscle or joint injuries. But the most common passion wound is carpet burn.
It’s a jungle out there, you guys.
In 5% of cases, these ailments are bad enough to warrant a day off work - which is kind of hilarious, until it happens to you.
As the Daily Mail reports, sex isn't only wreaking havoc on bodies - 40% of people have broken something around the house while in the act, with the most frequent casualties being, for obvious reasons, beds, chairs, wine glasses, picture frames, windows, vases, and in extreme cases, walls and windows. Proceed with caution, friends - especially if you're renting.
The funniest part of all this? Injuring yourself while having sex isn't that different to hurting yourself when you're drunk - it's going to affect Future You a lot more than Present (Sex Goddess) You.
Surely you're less likely to hurt yourself during a solo round, right? Check out our pick of the best sex toys:
Thanks to all the endorphins coursing around your body when you're aroused, your pain threshold increases, meaning you don't feel the sting as acutely. This is usually a good thing - in fact, the feel good hormones produced by orgasms can actually help to relieve your various aches and pains. Like a more fun version of Panadol.
Of course, it's a different story the next day when you wake up and realise you can't walk because you've done a number on your ankle.
So what's the takeaway here, aside from 'Practise Safe Sex' in all senses of the word? Basically, if you're planning on getting hot and heavy and enthusiastic, maybe it's a good idea to have a first aid kit at the ready.
But, look - even if you do hurt yourself, at least you'll be having fun while you do it.
Tell us, all you sex goddesses out there - have you ever sustained an injury in the act?