It’s dinner time and we haven’t had dinner. We didn’t have time, because the location of the event we’re going to was secret until an hour ago because of ‘security concerns’.
We’re headed to Lilyfield in Sydney to see Milo Yiannopoulos speak and we have at least five immediate regrets, the most trivial of which is the dinner issue, and the most pressing of which is why didn’t we wear disguises.
As we approach the venue (it happens to be the same as our Year 12 formal which feels… odd) a policeman pulls us over and asks if we’re here for the event. We mutter something incomprehensible under our breaths before realising this policeman has far better things to worry about than us and our egos. We nod a little too enthusiastically and detect a hint of disappointment in his eyes. We’re sorry. For everything.
There’s nowhere to park because apparently it’s very important for over 1000 people to hear a flamboyant man say phrases like ‘feminism is cancer’ and ‘Hillary Clinton wears a nappy’ live. We’re trying to suspend our judgement at least until we get inside, but there’s a unique feeling that comes with seeing someone take the parking spot you were eyeing off, only to step out of their car wearing a ‘Make America Great Again‘ hat.
Listen: Clare and Jessie Stephens go undercover at Milo Yiannopoulos’ Sydney show. Post continues after audio.
When we park, Jessie almost leaves the headlights on and realises later her wallet is in the car. She’s flustered. This is no time to lose the plot. We’re among people who think women shouldn’t drive for goodness sake.
We get a bit lost walking from the car, so decide to just follow the sea of middle-aged white men wearing ill-fitted jeans and hats. They know where to go.
As we approach, we hear yelling from hundreds of protesters. There are police cars, vans that say ‘RIOT SQUAD’, and police men and women sitting on judgey-looking horses. We’re ushered through a small entrance as protesters scream the words “NAZIS” “FASCISTS” and “DISGUSTING” in our direction, and all of a sudden this situation is significantly less funny.
Anywho, we get in the line and survey the type of human who pays as much as $1000 to go and see a white man wearing sunglasses at night with a highly exaggerated British accent, shit on Muslim people.
The crowd is surprisingly ethnically diverse, with ages ranging from early teens to people in their 70s, and the only women appear to be mostly accompanied by men. Few women seem to be on a night out with the galz, probably because it wouldn’t be that… fun.