I'm at the point in my life where I find a group of teenagers absolutely terrifying. I don't remember when it happened, but I am now eternally terrified of being judged by... children.
I think it's because I know they're cooler than me.
And not just cooler - better. These teens are taking to the streets and demanding change, while I was a 16-year-old millennial who... wouldn't have known politics if they wacked her over the head. I wouldn't have marched for anything except like, a Jonas Brothers concert or something.
Watch: Mamamia's fashion crimes... festival chaps. Post continues below video.
Plus, when these kids march, they're comfortable because they're wearing baggy pants.
Recently, there's been a tense ~generational war~ going on, as Gen Z have been mocking millennials for existing, liking skinny jeans and also for knowing what Harry Potter house they're in. This is a personal attack because 1. I'm a proud Ravenclaw and 2. I'm old enough to remember when we wore flared jeans and I still have nightmares about it.
So while I actually do respect - and am absolutely terrified of - the youngins, I've been tasked with taking them down a peg or two.
I applaud you for caring about the planet, my 18-year-old friend, but can you please stop filming yourself dancing in Coles?
(Side note: This is how we know we're getting old, right? We look at the kids of the day like, 'YOU DAMN CHILDREN'.)
So... hesitantly, because I'll probably end up being dragged (did I use that correctly?) in a viral TikTok video (jokes on them though, cause that's a dream of mine), here are a few things we would like to cancel Zoomers, aka the kids who ate Tide Pods, from doing:
Being really good at beauty.
These kids never went through an ugly duckling blue eyeshadow phase and it shows. Going through a terrible, unblended foundation with crimped hair phase should be a rite of passage for ~the youths~ but Gen Z grew up with makeup tutorials at their fingertips and therefore never had to experience anything other than decent makeup.