Some of you might know me from the reality TV show Seven Year Switch. You will know my name is Michelle, I am 31 years old, I am a mother of two beautiful children, four-year-old Elijah and 15-month-old Indiana.
You will have all seen me go through a crazy, weird, life altering experience that has changed me forever. You will now also know that I am a newly single mother. But here are a few things you wouldn’t know about me. The actual workings of who I am as a woman, a partner and a mother.
My story isn’t at all special in any way, I’m not unique, or even have any life changing advice for anyone. But what I am going to say is real, it’s hard, it’s raw. It’s not spoken about nearly enough, and people don’t really understand it all that well, and for a lot of us mums out there this is the battle we fight every day.
I fell pregnant unexpectedly with Jason and I's first child at 25. We were both so scared out of our brains but so excited at the same time. We had no money at all, not even a couch to sit on, however somehow we both managed to make our little unit a family home to bring our first baby home to. After a long pregnancy of being in and out of hospital with chronic morning sickness, we became parents to the most wonderful brown eyed boy. Jason and I were over the moon, but not too long after I stared to feel different. I was sad, I cried a lot. I couldn't sleep even if Elijah was, I was beyond tired. I found myself cleaning my house madly, and suffering from anxiety.
I couldn't slow down. I started to worry about things that weren't even there.
I was becoming resentful of Jason for seemingly having not changed much at all since becoming parents. He still has his job, could go out with his mates when he wanted, his body was the same, his penis didn't feel like a bowling ball was just pushed out of it, he could sleep soundly all night every night, for eating lunch and dinner whilst it was hot, and for being able to have a poo when and if he needed to, without a baby on his lap, or at the very least in a bassinet at the door. For not having the sorest nipples in the planet that even the wind blowing on them felt like razor blades. I became jealous of the man I loved so much and entirely.