Hugely unpopular opinion…?
I’ve just had a fight with Lisa Wilkinson. Well, not a fight. More of a disagreement.
This is highly unusual. We disagree so very rarely. I worship the woman. She’s one of my closest friends. In fact, during the 20+ years I’ve known and loved Lisa, I can’t think of a single topic on which we haven’t shared a similar opinion.
Until we both saw the 50 Shades of Grey movie this week.
Yesterday morning I read Lisa’s’ review of the film here and in the afternoon I saw the movie myself. And as I sat there mainlining popcorn and Maltesers, I kept waiting to agree with her view that it was an appalling movie that depicted domestic violence.
For me, that moment never came. I was not shocked or offended or upset or disturbed by this film. Even mildly.
I do, however, agree with this sentiment from Lisa:
“With a script that makes Mills & Boon read like bleedin’ Dickens, and lines like, “I don’t do romance”, Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey is the 30-something jerk of a billionaire who never seems to work. An emotionally crippled narcissist no one could love.”
Well, yes. The script is woeful. The whole movie is pretty woeful actually.
Not as high-camp cult-classic awful as, say, Showgirls. But totally cheesy and lame.
Yep. All of that is true. No Oscar buzz here.
But the bit I didn’t agree with was the part where Lisa said: “It’s domestic violence dressed up as erotica… and if there’s one thing this movie is not, it’s erotic.”
I actually think it is erotic in parts. But we’ll get to the sex in a moment because I’m feeling like I might be the only one. You see, Lisa’s view of 50 Shades is shared by another woman I usually agree with, Mamamia’s senior editor Rosie Waterland.
We sent Rosie off to the premiere on Thursday night with a brief to write one of her famous recaps. That never happened. Because when she came to work the following morning and I asked about it, she was still shaking. That’s how distressing and triggering she had found it. That’s how upset she was by what she saw. Angry too. Because, as she wrote in a review that has gone as viral as Lisa’s (and which you can read in full here), Rosie was horrified by the message she felt the film sent:
It’s emotional abuse disguised as a ‘naughty sex contract’. It’s domestic violence dressed up as sexy fantasy. …..there is no doubt in my mind that the film I watched last night was a disturbing and clear depiction of a controlling and emotionally abusive relationship. This was domestic violence. I don’t care how many women learned to embrace sex because of Fifty Shades of Grey. THIS WAS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
And lots and lots of women agree with Rosie. That post has been read and shared thousands of times. There are protests about the film being organised by women’s groups and calls for boycotts.
So. Back to my phonecall with Lisa this morning. After seeing the film myself yesterday and being surprised to find myself on such a different page to my friend, I wanted to ask her one question: did you read the books?
She hadn’t. And neither had Rosie. And that’s when I understood.
Top Comments
Hi Mia - I agree with you! But, I actually enjoyed the film. It was total escapism, and I thought it was HOT. And...I haven't read the books at all, I have only heard about them. I gave it an 8/10. I agree that it's not near deserving of an Oscar nomination, but I found Jamie Dornan gorgeous to look at... I loved how strong he was because I have had a string of failed r'ships with very weak, submissive men, and love a strong man in control... but I would totally draw the line at BDSM. I am looking forward to movie number 2 & 3! I feel people whining about it's glorification of violence have missed the story behind all that which is Anastasia challenging Christian emotionally - to let go of his fears and let go of all that control and be a little vulnerable. I look forward to seeing if she is more successful in doing that in the other two movies. Bring them on I say! And for those still whining... just don't watch it! Go watch a film where people shoot each other, because I bet you've all watched that. Totally hypocritical.
So thankful that you wrote this Mia, I tried to make the point of its fiction and therefore should be judged as such by commenting on Rosie's blog (which I read and respected as her opinion) but just got basically told off with accusations that its depiction of domestic abuse and controlling relationship can't be excused by the line it's fiction. But every movie that glamourises casual unsafe sec, drugs, gang life and a life of crime there all fine cause it usually involves predominately males. Yes media and entertainment influence society but until society is perfect these things are going to exist in media and entertainment. And to all those people worried that people are saying they want a Christian Grey I don't know about you but I'm a strong independent woman but would love a young sexy millionaire to fall in love with me...do we all forget that there are many times Ana can walk away and Christian tells her too! People have been fantasising about fictional characters for decades does not mean they want exact replicas of the relationships. I hate that domestic violence and emotional abide occurs in society and a lot of it unnoticed but instead of ranting and raving on national television about a fictional depiction (which just sends more people to see it) maybe you could us your platform to try and affect actual change like laws and societal beliefs that will help actual victims not fictional characters! End of rant
Love ur work Mia!