It’s a story that will be undoubtedly told at little Alessandra’s 21st: ‘The time you covered yourself in your own poo and smeared it all over your bedroom.’
It started off a good day for Jesse Mab-Phea Hill in Nebraska in the US.
“Dropped the boy off at school, worked out, let the dogs outside and began chilling like a boss in my man cave in the basement,” he posted to Facebook.
“Mayra was out teaching her workout class, Alessandra was asleep in her room.”
That was until Jesse decided he wanted some chocolate cake, which they’d made for his son’s Cub Scouts a few days before. He ran upstairs to get it and that was the beginning of the end of any thought of chocolate cake.
“As I’m going upstairs I smell something foul. I scan the basement from the stairs thinking the dogs dropped a deuce before I let them outside. I see nothing… And then my blood runs cold when I realise the stink is coming from the upper floor.”
He ran to his daughter’s room and walked straight into a Jackson Pollock-style horror set.
She was covered.
Apparently there are seven reasons parents are tearing their hair out. (Post continues after audio.)
“There she is, standing at the baby gate, butt naked, holding her diaper, covered head to toe in her own crap,” the father-of-two posted to Facebook.
“I’m not talking a little poop here and there on her. I’m talking layered on globs of human faecal matter covering her arms, legs, face and HAIR.”
The room is a disgrace…
“Everything on the right side of the room is covered in steaming baby crap. The walls, the toys, the windows, the curtains, the play bench, the floor, the baby piano, my hopes, all covered in crap. It looked like a real category-five shit storm blew through her room.”