Many of us feel some measure of insecurity when dealing with life experiences. But when it comes to relationships, there are unique insecurities that men struggle with in particular. But being the men they are (and by that I mean, living in a culture that doesn’t support men in sharing their insecurities), they’ll NEVER tell you about them.
So, I will.
Because the man in your life (if you truly love him) needs you to understand how much he struggles with these things.
You see, a man battling insecurity lives with a quiet gnawing fear, rather than a confident, positive intention. If your man can’t (or won’t) replace his fearful view with an optimistic outlook, his insecurity will remain … holding him and your relationship back.
Self-improvement begins with his willingness to imagine and create different possibilities for his life. And the way out of darkness is to turn on a light. And you can help him in that process by showing him compassion, support, and understanding.
Here are the four big things your man is super insecure about, but will never tell you:
1. He's worried he's not enough for you.
He wants to please you. If your man feels he's not pleasing you, it generates self-doubt and insecurity. The "I'm not good enough" complex also relates to fear and insecurity that he's not good enough sexually. He worries he can't "please you" in bed. This often comes partly because men typically orgasm before women. Usually after your man orgasms, his sexual desire and energy lower compromising his ability to keep going and please you.
It's not always solely his problem, however. Often you have your own personal sexual insecurities which inhibit you from sexually arousing yourself enough, which causes you to take longer to orgasm. If your man takes on more of the responsibility to please you in bed, he also likely takes on more of the shame of poor sexual relations within your relationship.