I opened my eyes this morning in Victoria, and a familiar sense of dread crept through my body.
I allowed the feeling to wash over me. The house was quiet, my four children were still sleeping. It was a good time to sink into self pity before I would force myself out of bed and plaster a smile on my face.
I would start preparing the mental list of indoor activities and remind my children once again that they were superheroes for doing their part in making the world safe.
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They will do it. They will fulfill their roles. Get the job done. We all will.
That’s what we are told over and over right? Let’s just pull up our sleeves and get the job done.
In the beginning, I was happy to do so.
After all those were unprecedented times.
We were fighting an invisible enemy that does not discriminate against age, class or gender. It evolves and morphs and travels at lightning speed.
Except that now, we are no longer living in unprecedented times.
In terms of resources, data and knowledge, we are not where we were last year.
Yet, in many ways it feels as if we are still treading water.
Of course, I will continue to do my part. To make my contribution to society, in my own small way.
I’m not a scientist or a politician. But I do what I can. What I’m told to do.
I will continue to wear a mask despite feeling so anxious some days I choose not to go outside because I simply can’t stand anything on my face.
I will continue to scan the QR codes and sanitise my hands upon entering the shop whilst juggling my baby.
I will once again battle with bad internet connection, lost passwords and my children’s tantrums when I don’t grasp their math work.
I will once again try not to cry when my two-year-old brings me her shoes with pleading eyes and says, “Park?”
For the tenth time that day.
I will bring the cheer and check in with my loved ones. I will take part in the trivia despite always losing.
I will shut down my business and desperately send out emails trying to once again reschedule clients to an unknown date in the future. I will do my job.
We all will.