Stop looking so damn smug.
I know you think you’re soooooo cool, with your black clothes and your rooftop bars and your extra days off work.
I know you’re probably prancing around right now in your edgy fashion along your fancy river sipping sparkling from your precious Yarra Valley, laughing at the rest of us chumps.
You think you’re so unique. You think you’ve got a a monopoly on getting absolutely trashed and taking off your shoes at the racetrack and drunk-texting your boss that you’ve got a stomach flu on the first Wednesday morning of every November.
But guess what, Melbourne? I have some news for you.
You aren’t the only ones.
You think Sydney doesn’t love a good bottle of champers? You think Adelaide is full of hard workers? You think the citizens of The Gold Coast are all Sober Sallys? Don’t make me laugh.
The rest of Australia has just as much right to get rowdy today as you, Victoria. And we will.