By MAMAMIA STYLE
Tall people wrapped in shiny fabric. Definitely life-threatening headwear. The consumption of alcohol in the sun.
THE MELBOURNE CUP, ladies and gentlemen in suits. The Melbourne Cup.
Sweet merciful god of television, BLAKE AND LOUISE just arrived. How very dare they show their attractive faces on this holy day of racing, after all the manufactured outrage they’ve caused in the past few months. How very dare they flaunt their love in the vicinity of cameras and potential other Bachelor contestants.
Ah, whatever. In other news, turns out Geoffrey Edelsten is still alive. He just proposed to this woman called Gaby Grecko, who remains famous for reasons unknown. She appears to have massacred a rare bird of some kind and placed its carcass on her head, so at the very least we can assume she’s fashionable.