
Look.
We don’t normally pay much attention to conspiracy theories.
Unless of course, it’s to do with Melania Trump not actually being Melania Trump but a body double.
Well. A claim like that needs to be investigated immediately.
This week, footage emerged of First Lady Melania Trump boarding a plane in Ohio with her husband, President Donald Trump.
But many people noticed something…odd.
The woman accompanying Donald Trump didn’t really look all that much like Melania. Her posture was different. The way she walked was different. Her hair colour was different.
There’s only one possible explanation – and it’s obviously that Melania Trump has a body double because she really doesn’t want to hang out with the President anymore. He’sannoying.
Does this look like Melania? pic.twitter.com/2YXsMh5D6u
— The Resistance (@nightlypolitics) August 25, 2018
But the theory goes even further. People believe that the body double looks an awful lot like Melania’s bodyguard who has been pictured with her in the past. Alternatively, some think she might be a “paid off model”.
Believe what you will but – seriously – this person does not look at all like Melania Trump.
This new Melania double is weak sauce. #wheresmelania pic.twitter.com/yAsbR7CuQJ
— Johnny Killoran (@metroville) July 10, 2018
Perhaps Melania doesn’t want to hang out with Trump because sometimes he tries to blow up the universe on Twitter for no reason, or because he enjoys grabbin’ women “by the pussy” in his spare time – which physiologically is a highly difficult thing to do.
There are two pieces of unequivocal evidence for Melania’s alleged disdain towards President Trump.
Number one: Her face.

Does she look like a woman in love to you? Image via Getty.
In case her stance on Trump isn't clear enough:

If I had to describe that expression in one word it would be... revulsion. Image via Getty.
Number two: The time she swatted him away for attempting to touch her on the body.
This is the context in which the Melania Trump conspiracy theory is steeped.
And the theory itself isn't new.
We discuss Trump's latest buffoonery on our US Politics podcast. Post continues after.
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It all began in October, 2017, when President Trump and his First Lady were at a press conference discussing hurricane relief for Puerto Rico. All seemed fine and dandy. Until Donald Trump bizarrely said, "My wife Melania... who happens to be right here."
Why... why are you telling us that she's "right here" when we can... see.
OR CAN WE?
People of the internet were convinced that there the woman standing there was NOT Melania, but rather a body double, standing in for the First Lady.
A woman named Andrea Wagner Barton wrote on Facebook, "Will the real Melania please stand up? Is it me or during his speech today a decoy 'stood in' for Melania??"
Her post was shared 139,000 times.
"Why is Melania always wearing sunglasses?" commenters asked. Others are convinced she has completely different lips.
To add to this extremely compelling and not at all completely ridiculous conspiracy theory, when Trump addressed first responders following Hurricane Irma in Florida, he said, "I just wanted to thank everybody... Melania really wanted to be with us."
But she...
She was literally standing right there beside him.
Twitter understandably couldn't cope with the fact that Melania is in hiding and their First Lady is actually a very convincing body double.
Me: I can't deal with all this fake news, it's harming American democracy
Twitter: Melania Trump has a body double
Me: pic.twitter.com/QMXROMyRe8
— Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) October 18, 2017
Me: conspiracy theories are stupid Twitter: Donald Trump is going around with a fake Melania stunt double Me: pic.twitter.com/9UdkMWWdVG
— regina phalange (@allstarsevy) October 18, 2017
Could it be that it's just the real Melania Trump but with pursed lips and sunglasses on? Or a woman who... maybe.. regularly makes, er, amendments to her face and thus doesn't look like Melania two weeks, two years, or 20 years ago?
Absolutely not. That's ridiculous.
It's a lurkin' body double/alien/robot lady.
CASE CLOSED.
Jessie Stephens
Executive Editor
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