So, as you may have heard, Meghan Markle is getting married next weekend.
Long before she was marrying a prince, however, the actress was just a single woman going on a string of, well, sh*tty dates.
This is the story of one of those dates.
You see, Markle once enjoyed a romantic dinner with Simon Rex – a 43-year-old actor, rapper and former porn star.
Things seemed to be going well until they got to the end of the date and shared a kiss.
It was then that Rex realised he had garlic noodle breath.
After their garlic-y noodle-y kiss, Markle never called him back.
Rex believes the garlic noodles are to blame, but he says she may have also found out about the whole former porn star thing.
“It’s possible that she found out afterwards. There’s so many questions I don’t know the answer to about why we never went on a second date,” he told The Sun.
“But I’m blaming it on the garlic noodles.
“To this day that’s like an ongoing joke — don’t order the garlic noodles that ruined my chances!”
garlic noodle Meghan Markle date, Rex dated Paris Hilton on and off for about four years.
The former porn star said Markle was very different to Hilton. He describes Markle as “not a bad girl” and a “bit of a square”.
“That’s probably why we didn’t hit it off, I’m a little more rough around the edges. When I asked her out again I just got the hint she wasn’t into me. I took it on the chin,” he said.
Yes, well. No one tell the Queen about this please.
Cut the crap.