Advanced warning: We’re being deeply sarcastic here.
Si’down, Meryl Streep, and grab yourself a pen. Because if you think you understand commitment to a role, you clearly haven’t studied the work of Meghan Markle.
See, the thespian’s recent engagement to Prince Harry seemed to the outside world like an wonderful, accidental fairy tale; actress meets Prince through a mutual friend, has two dates, goes glamping in Botswana, and – boom – nabs herself a ring and 2.3 billion loyal subjects.
But according to a not-so-loyal childhood friend who spoke to The Daily Mail, we’ve all been duped, folks. Duped good.
Apparently the 36-year-old Los Angles-born woman has been playing the long game, having hatched a scheme to marry a member of the British Royal Family when she was just a teenager.
Is Meghan Markle a good role model? (Post continues below)
“I’m not surprised [by the engagement] at all. It’s like she’s been planning this her whole life,” friend Ninaki Priddy told the outlet.
“She gets exactly what she wants and Harry has fallen for her play. She was always fascinated by the Royal Family. She wants to be Princess Diana 2.0. She will play her role ably, but my advice to him is to tread cautiously.”
‘No way’, you say. ‘She’s just jealous’, you say.
Well, how do you explain THIS?
There, outside Buckingham Palace, sits a 15-year-old Markle. Wearing shades. Shady shades.
Solid proof she knew the Royal Family existed, and therefore, probably, might have, maybe, devoted her entire life to marrying one of them.
Everything since – the internationally successful television career, the charity work, the causes, the women’s empowerment stuff, the perfectly blow-waved hair – it was all part of the elaborate plot to bag herself a Windsor.
(I mean, I went to Parliament House on Year 6 camp, and then 16 years later I met the Prime Minister, so…maybe?)