Like many celebrities, I am unfortunately all too familiar with the accusation of faking a romance and my sexuality in order to increase public exposure.
Take Ruby Rose, for example. She recently had to defend her rekindled relationship with The Veronica’s Jess Origliasso, stating that the duo are not together for publicity reasons after an Australian radio host accused her of using her relationship for PR purposes.
Amber Heard after her break up with Johnny Depp was also accused through a deeply disturbing article in Hollywood Life of causing her own marriage failure due to ‘bisexual tendencies’.
Then there’s Megan Fox, Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie and Evan Rachel-Wood- again, all coming out as bisexual and instead of being received with support and slaps on the back, they were met with disbelief and claims of publicity stunts.
The big question is, why does someone’s sexuality scream scandal?
When my current girlfriend and I first got together, she had always thought she was straight. For the first few months while we figured out what we were, she was also going through the process of figuring out her own sexuality.
I, having been attracted to and experienced relationships with both men and women for some time, was lucky to feel a little more stable than her in a very public affair. However, it was a deeply confusing and distressing time for the both of us. For a long time we struggled with managing the whole saga, or whether we should bother to try at all.
How do we tell our family, our friends, the people we have worked with? How do we manage this publicly? What if we don’t work out, and if that’s the case, how will this impact sexual minorities who support us in Australia and internationally?
Unfortunately the coming out process for my partner, and the initial stages of our relationship was not an easy feat due to constant criticism from the media, fellow Bachelor contestants, friends and sadly, some of my family.
Being a self-proclaimed D-grade celebrity and having to watch someone I care about undergo so much online and face-to-face bullying makes me wonder how the likes of Amber Heard, Ruby Rose and the many other women who bravely ‘came out’ at some point – who are a thousand times more under the public spotlight – deal with the pressure.
Are they also asked to make a pornographic films in order to prove their sexuality? Is their body language contemplated, are they followed around by paparazzi, asked to have threesomes, not allowed to have male OR female friends without being put in question?
From the articles I have read and personal encounters with curious members of the public, it seems the Australian community is deeply confused by why two feminine women would choose to be with one another instead of choosing to be with and please a man.
Deeming that a woman who is bisexual and in a female relationship is attention seeking or promiscuous, is easier to comprehend than basic natural disposition.
I was duly educated by the best of Australian culture as a child. Lesbians are butch, wear vests over t-shirts, have short multi-coloured hair and if they’re extra rough, they probably ride a Harley motorcycle.
And the bisexuals? Ha, they’re just slutty really, or at very least it’s just a phase and “will be back on the cock in a year”.
I would like to say that I almost get the confusion by public and the media. The term bisexual is one hard to pin down, as it covers a broad range of emotional and sexual orientations that hardly ever represents a 50-50 attraction, but rather falls on some point of the spectrum.
I first kissed a girl when I was eight, and I was ashamed of who I was and more importantly, what I might become over the years (I didn’t want to be disliked, or ugly, or go to hell). It took time, a lot of self-exploring and failed relationships to understand that sexual orientation wasn’t just a penchant or trend, nor was it evil. It was my innate, natural state.
Just because a bisexual woman is with another woman, it does not mean she is all of a sudden a lesbian. Just because a bisexual woman is with a man it does not mean she is straight, but her inherent sexual disposition is retained. This is partly why I’ve found it difficult to label myself.
To me, any label feels like a pair of bad fitting jeans, it just doesn’t feel quite right or comfortable. Sexually fluid, bisexual – I don’t know, I guess I just feel like Megan Marx and that’s it.
I don’t want the label and I don’t want to take on the physical attributes or behaviours expected of someone of my ‘orientation’ because, and this is crazy, I am pretty okay with who I am.
I imagine a world where people do not have to go through the process of figuring out a sexual orientation or with a bold texta, plaster it across their foreheads so the whole world understands. Instead people would just love, desire and date consensually without fear of social and political repercussion.
A world where there is no such thing as ‘coming out’ because no one has to hide in the first place. As Amber Heard, a straight-presenting woman who is attracted to both men and women has said, “I will never beg for an easy classification or label”.
My girlfriend, myself, or really anyone in the world whether in the public eye or living discretely in their community, should not have to defend their sexual orientation, label that orientation, or divulge private details about their sex life in order to make people understand or believe.
If you do not understand why I am with a woman right now, and that I love and admire her deeply, then that is not my problem. I don’t have the powers of God to mind-f*ck you into my world, even if I’d love to have a good-hearted, consular and open conversation with you about free love.
Straight, gay, sexually fluid, transgender, lesbian, bisexual, monogamous, polygamous, bicurious, asexual, pansexual, transman, transwoman or whatever sexual or gender orientation nature has chosen for you:
You fit only one label, and that is human.
Let’s love each other and stop the sexual slander and pseudo ‘scandal’.
Have a look at Tiffany and Megan’s best Insta snaps: