Well, howdy-doo.

This morning I woke up with the intention for today to be just like any other day.

Have a cup of tea. Check news/world hasn’t imploded. Go to work.

You know, the norm.

How wrong I was. Twitter – of course, it had to be Twitter – struck me down. I should clarify, it wasn’t just Twitter as a whole, but this tweet in particular:

I think we need to have a discussion about how Google’s burger emoji is placing the cheese underneath the burger, while Apple puts it on top pic.twitter.com/PgXmCkY3Yc

— Thomas Baekdal (@baekdal) October 28, 2017

But it’s not just the cheese. It’s the lettuce. 

Up until this moment in my life, I hadn’t thought very seriously about the stacking of ingredients on my burger, but thanks to Thomas Baekdal, I now am.

In case you’re thinking this is an over-reaction, which it definitely is not, there are millions of people who have been dumbfounded by said tweet.

More than two million people have engaged with it – sharing their case for the ideal anatomy of a burger.

Obviously, cheese must be on top of meat. But lettuce must be insulated by the tomato – so both are in the wrong.

— Tero Kuittinen (@teroterotero) October 28, 2017

basically this pic.twitter.com/nTimOlvbay

— Saikyo Ninja KeiyosX (@KeiyosX) October 29, 2017

Apple remains true to their roots of inspired thoughtful design: lettuce protects bun from becoming soggy with meat juice. Try it. ????

— Sloane Barbour (@nycsloane) October 28, 2017

Even the Google CEO has jumped on board questioning these big questions in life.

Will drop everything else we are doing and address on Monday:) if folks can agree on the correct way to do this! https://t.co/dXRuZnX1Ag

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) October 29, 2017

Since Mr Pichai thinks it’s okay to drop everything on Monday and fix this, so will I.

In my investigations, I have identified that even the major fast food chain, McDonald’s, has problems deciding where to place the cheese.

Exhibit A: The Cheeseburger

Cheese above patty. Okay. Right. Image via McDonald's.

Exhibit B: Filet-O-Fish

Did everyone else notice that change?

Beef: put cheese above.

Fish: put cheese below.

WHY DOES IT CHANGE BETWEEN FISH AND BEEF?

For your interest, in McDonald's chicken burger, they opt for the cheese above.

In my comprehensive analysis, Hungry Jack's also opts for the cheese on top but KFC does it completely differently with lettuce at the bottom, cheese, then the chicken.

I don't know.

I was always cheese first, patty next kind of girl but maybe it was all a lie.