rogue

Radio host Maz Compton details her carefully planned and unconventional Christmas countdown.

As Christmas Eve gets even closer, this year I’ve decided I’m calling it Christmas I Can’t Even. I have two family Christmas events to attend this year and I’ve been forced to come up with a carefully planned timeline to make it to the finish line.

Here is an insight into what’s going down this week:

1. My true love gave to me, not much help in the present’s department that’s for sure. Minor panic stations erupt as the reality of over-committed salad options and under thought presents sets in. There are in laws, nephews and nieces, oh my! 

2. Sit down and write out the presents list for all of the relatives, of which I am super proud. As much as I’d like to give all the kids sugar free, paleo goodies and something from Oxfam like a goat, they are not my kids. So let’s jack ‘em up on sugar and leave before bed time I say.

3. Plan a trip to the shops. Get totally sidetracked by my impending deadline for Mamamia article and by that I mean, the beach.

Maz and her partner. Image via Instagram

4. Attempt to go to the shops to get all of the presents at once, get to the car park queue, turn around and wait for late night shopping night because screw going to the shopping centre on a weekend.

5. Buy all of the presents at once. Assemble production line much like at Santa’s workshops. Realise half way through that I haven’t labelled the gifts, so I have to half unwrap them really carefully and figure out who they are for, then write their name is huge letters on a post it note. (Make a note to self to buy gift tags.)

6. Draw and cut out templates for the gingerbread house. To be honest, my fiancé does this as he topped his tech drawing class at TAFE and has never lets me forget it. He draws with precision. I cut with precision. Template complete.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.m ????

A video posted by mazcompton (@mazcompton) on

7. Bake gingerbread. It has kind of become a tradition, and by tradition I mean I did one the year prior and it was a real hit and a request was put in for this year. Except this year we are going for a two storey. My fiancé is a builder and reckons he can do a simple second story addition to the gingerbread masterpiece, so bring it on. It’ll be like being on The Block but frosting rather than Foreman Keith.

ADVERTISEMENT

8. Construction of the epic-double-storey Victorian Gingerbread House. Race to shop to get Nan a pressie as I totally left her off the list by accident. Soz Nan.

9. Attend Christmas gathering numero uno. Deliver epic presents to nieces and nephews and parents of the above mentioned, and Nan. Win them all over with presentation of mammoth and insane Gingerbread House and put in some good ol’ facetime with the future in laws. Retreat home as soon as sugar rush kicks in.

10. Bake peanut butter choc crunch cheesecake (thanks Sarah Wilson) by request for my family. Buy ingredients for two different salads, because what would we do if we just had one salad? Asian cabbage and crunchy noodle salad (yes the one off the back of the crunchy noodle packet) and a raw slaw that the lovely supermarket Christmas fairies already chopped up perfectly for me, they even included the dressing.

Maz Compton knows how to do Christmas. Image via Instagram

11. Attend other family Christmas Celebration, eat heaps and heaps of salad, (among all the naughty stuff), stay overnight and gather for the annual super awesome family brunch the morning after. Canadian pancakes with bacon and maple syrup; it’s a winner every year.

12. Drive home from other family overnight Christmas celebration loaded up with random $30 gifts. Take down all our Christmas Decorations and pack away. Go to Church for the Christmas Eve service. Sleep.

Christmas Day: GET ON A PLANE AND GO TO BALI.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

00:00 / ???