Let’s start with what everyone’s thinking but no one’s saying.
Why is Matty J just a normal hot guy? It’s unsettling…
It makes us feel funny, mostly because we both think we might genuinely like him and it will be hurtful to see other girls go on dates with him.
Anywho. Somehow Matty J agreed to do an interview with us and we tried to act fine and totally cool with it when he talked about his lady harem.
Like when 'cool with it' means starting an interview with 'WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER CALL ME?'
You see, at the conclusion of last season, when we were scrambling to find the perfect GIF to encapsulate our precise reaction to Georgia's rejection of Matty J, we made a decision.
That decision was to finish our recap with Jessie's phone number, and a request for the sadly heartbroken but also newly available Matty J to give her a call. She was so, so, so single. In case you were wondering, yes that was her real phone number. And yes, precisely 23 people texted her, and a number of others called. None of them, to our knowledge, were the real Matty J.
So, like a woman who was ghosted after really putting herself out there, we demanded answers. This is a brief transcript of part of that conversation.
Jessie: You never called. Discuss.
Matty J: Oh... you've really caught me off guard here.
Matty J, sounding oddly sarcastic: If only I had known you had sent that message out there, who knows what could have been?
Who knows, indeed.
Well, sorry Matty J. Jessie has a boyfriend now and doesn't have time for this kind of drama. And, as it turns out, Matty J told us he has a girlfriend now too.
Because we're real journalists, we also asked Matty J if he had a non-negotiable relationship deal breaker going into The Bachelor. Our deal breakers, for example, would probably be someone who a) wasn't Matty J, b) hated dogs or, c) wore completely black Asics shoes for no reason.
Matty J made our ovaries violently rupture and leak in globs. "That would be being with someone who genuinely did not want a family," he said. "That would be too difficult to overcome..."
Listen: Matty J speaks to Clare and Jessie Stephens on The Binge about his deal breaker for The Bachelor. Post continues...
This, of course, brings us to the most important question...
WHERE IS BABY GEORGE IS HE COMING BACK PLS.
Clare asked whether her favourite star from The Bachelorette would be returning. If you need to be reminded of who this 'George' character is, please cast your mind back to Georgia's home visit with Matty J, where she awkwardly walked into a pot plant and then engaged in an intense stare-off with a baby.
THIS be George:
"He will make a little cameo," Matty J said and goodness we CANNOT.
We spent pretty much the remainder of the interview asking how old George is now, what he's up to, what he thought of the ladies etc etc.
Oh, and he also told us about the five words he'd use to describe his ideal partner, how long it took him to move on from Georgia Love, and what he's looking forward to when it comes to watching the show.
WE CAN'T WAIT.
Listen to the latest episode of The Binge.
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