real life

Here are our own very raw, very painful stories of heartbreak, in solidarity with Matty J.

There are a lot of people feeling unwell at the moment.

Sure, it could be the weather. It’s been a bit hot-and-cold the last few days. But I think it’s far more likely that a great number of Australians are suffering from the literal pain and sickness that comes from heartbreak.

On Thursday night, when Georgia Love told Matty J she had “found love, just not with you,” the vast majority of the audience reacted like this:

HOW COULD YOU. Image via Giphy.

Matty's response was instantaneous. He dropped his hands. He looked away. He covered his mouth. He even doubled over as though he was actually winded by Georgia's words. It was nothing short of devastating.

It was also an incredibly rare moment to witness on national television. It was so genuine - and was arguably the most raw rejection we've seen on any finale of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette.

THE PAIN. Image via Channel 10.

But the reason we responded so strongly to what we saw on Thursday night was because all of us, to some extent, know exactly how it feels. We've all been told by someone we liked or loved that the feelings weren't reciprocated, and we're all familiar with the sickness that follows.

It's unlike anything else.

It's as though you're being rejected, categorically, as a person, by the only individual whose opinion you value in that moment. You're helpless. You're alone. You feel worthless. It's one of the most intense emotional experiences one can go through.

After hearing Georgia's decision, Matty said he wished, in that moment, that he didn't love her. Image via Channel 10.

But, Matty J, you're not alone. Being heartbroken means you now speak a universal language.

There's also grace in allowing oneself to be completely vulnerable, and caring about someone so deeply that when you can't be with them, it feels as though your entire life has fallen apart.

And we've been there. In solidarity with Matty J, here are some of our (very raw, very painful) stories of heartbreak.

The long-term boyfriend.

"I had been going out with someone for years. Then late one night, he came over and said he needed to talk. He told me he didn't love me anymore. I automatically ran to the bathroom because I needed to throw up, and he kept apologising and saying he didn't want to feel this way. I couldn't eat or sleep for days after. I've never felt so sick." - Katie, 26. 

The brutal breakup.

"When I was 21, a guy I was dating/sleeping with and madly in love with took me away for a really romantic weekend. When there, in the middle of this idyllic countryside, he decided to tell me he didn't see a future with me. Two weeks later he was Facebook official with another girl, who he had secretly been seeing behind my back. I lived off cookie dough ice cream for the next month." - Sarah, 28. 


Merry Christmas.

"I was once dumped on Christmas Day. He said that movie line - 'the guy who marries you will be so lucky.' It killed me." Marie, 28. 

The roommate.

"In first year uni I was pretty smitten with this guy and after a lot of flirtation we ended up going on a couple dates. Then I went home for a few weeks over the summer and when we all came back to uni, he got with my housemate at the time. It was truly gutting. And he didn't ever acknowledge it. They dated for ages so she'd often bring him over to the house." - Emily, 26. 

The high school romance.

"My Year 8 girlfriend cheated on me at a party I wasn’t invited to. Found out the next day from another friend who was at the party. She said 'I thought you and … were together but her and James were kissing for ages last night.'" - Matt, 22. 

Heather Maltman was devastated to not receive a rose from Sam Wood on The Bachelor. Image via Channel 10.

The most devastating Kmart scene.

"I was seeing this guy and it started off pretty casual... Then I fell for him really hard. We had been seeing each other for maybe four months.

He'd met my family, PATTED MY DOG, we had mutual friends, we'd spoken a bit about travelling and doing things together. I thought it was going somewhere and I REALLY liked him. From all indications, he liked me as well.

THEN I am shopping in Kmart for something random. I forget what. But I'm in the electronics section, staring at the cameras and photo albums, when he called me. We had plans that night, so I presumed it was just about that. I answered. "Hey, I can't see you tonight"... "Oh, okay, is everything alright"... "Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just not feeling it."... Sorry, what???


This guy told me "he just wasn't feeling it" while I was shopping in Kmart and was meant to see him that night. He doubled down and continued to say he just "wasn't feeling it" - whatever that means. And I never heard from him again.
I was SHATTERED. Like embarrassingly heartbroken, I think because it was just so brutal." - Sophie, 31. 

Nikki Gogan was taken to The Bachelorette finale, only to be told she wasn't the woman Richie had fallen in love with. Image via Channel 10.

The friend zone.

"I had fallen in love with this guy. We were best friends and did everything together. It had been months and months of hooking up, hanging out, and I was so certain we were on the same page. So one night, I asked him if I could chat with him. We sat down, and I looked him in the eyes and for the first time told him that I really, really liked him. His response was, 'ohhh, I thought we were just friends. You're just kinda awkward, you know?'

I've never been so hurt. I remember sitting in the shower crying and crying and feeling the worst I've ever felt." - Mary, 22. 

The holiday.

"I went away for a few weeks and all I thought about was this girl. We spoke on the phone every day and were messaging the whole time. I spent a lot of money on a gift for her. When I came home, all I wanted was to give her a hug and tell her how much I had missed her. I went over to her house, and she told me she didn't want to be together anymore. I didn't know what to do with the gift." - Sam, 25. 

Matty J, there are few things that hurt like having your heartbroken.

But we promise you'll be okay, just like we are. (Sort of).

Listen to our Bach Chat podcast, where we discuss the shocking finale.