1. One of Matty J’s Bachelorettes is pregnant and good god can 2017 slow down please?
I mean, sure, we understand it's November and the year has flown and our lives are speeding by before our eyes but didn't Matty J go on the Bachelor like... yesterday?
Apparently not. In fact, the finale aired in September, filming wrapped in June after filming started in March.
Which means that yes, it's a perfectly fine timeline for someone to, you know, meet someone else.
What have...what have we been doing all that time?
Listen: Miss The Bachelor/ette? Reminisce with us below...
Rhythmic gymnast/ribbon thrower Akoulina Ktoiants, former contestant on Matty J's show has met someone, got engaged and announced her pregnancy since she appeared on the show.
Akoulina, who was eliminated from the show in episode three, announced on Instagram on Wednesday her and her fiance Robert Rollington are expecting a baby.
"We are expecting! Our baby is 12 weeks old and it was wiggling his/her arms and legs, I was completely speechless looking at the screen for the very first time. It was dancing in my belly and it made me tear up!" she went on, adding the hashtag #icantbelieveimgoingtobeamum.
Meanwhile, we've achieved nothing in the time since The Bachelor aired... we might still be in the same tracksuit pants, actually...
2. Is this Taylor Swift tweet appropriate?
Taylor Swift wields a certain power amongst her fans akin to demi-gods and minor cult leaders. This is a truth universally acknowledged.
US publication Marie Claire is currently experiencing this first hand, after their tweet about her apolitical stance during the 2016 election attracted a lot of ‘criticism’ from fans.
— Marie Claire (@marieclaire) November 14, 2017