Our way of life is threatened. Threatened like a promotional ice cream flavour at the end of summer, doomed to melt into memories of the past.
The rise of the introvert in the past five cultural minutes is a serious danger to our ingrained form of expression. Not since the European Mime Guild strikes of the 50s has an inaudible movement looked so menacing
No longer can we tolerate this quiet, almost silent and slow speaking horde. We must fight back and reclaim our rights to be outspoken, loud, interruptive and expressive.
The Mamamia OutLoud team discuss: are you an introvert or an asshole? Post continues after video.
I am married to an introvert. People often tell us we are a complimentary pairing. But I am here to tell you that it is exhausting. As an extrovert, I constantly have to cover for my socially reserved spouse. People assume that you love communicating, that it is what you prefer to do. This isn’t exactly the case. I also love macaroni cheese, but if I had to eat it day-in, day-out then I’d soon end up in a padded cell, painting invisible masterpieces with citrus juices on the floor and claiming I was John Lennon reincarnated.
Like me, I bet many of you have had to suffer through corporate brainstorming sessions where the facilitator places you on a verbal leash, proceeding to wait in inefficient silence for the introverts to contribute some unformed and soft-spoken something.
It is not the family but the extrovert that society is built upon. The extroverts are the leaders, the entertainers and the social mouthpieces leading us forward. Loudly.
The introvert incursion threatens to rob all extroverts of our right to free speech. Yes, we equally share this right to freely speak our minds, but it is the extrovert who is under attack for doing so with too much freedom.
WATCH: An awkward person’s guide to social events. (Post continues after video…)