This article deals with issues of child abuse and may be triggering to some readers. The author of this post is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.
The man you married, had three beautiful daughters with, the man you’ve spent your life with – has just been revealed to be a child molester. The offences took place over a period of five years, 20 years ago.
You had no idea.
It happened under the same roof you were living under.
You had no idea.
It happened to your daughter.
You had no idea…
This horrifying, sinister information is tearfully revealed to you years later, by your daughter, who is done trying to keep it a secret. She wants to heal. She wants to speak out about it. She wants to stop dealing with it on her own. She wants her mother. She wants to be told she is loved and that it’s okay. She wants to stop playing happy families when she is so deeply hurt, traumatised and unhappy.
Side note – we lose one woman every week in Australia to domestic violence, but that’s just the tip of a very grim iceberg. Post continues after video.
This man took her innocence. This man preyed on her when she was 12 years old.
What do you do?
It’s 1998. You’re old now. This happened years ago. It’s too hard to deal with. It’s too embarrassing to talk about.
You decide to stay with this man. This decision is the worst decision you have ever made. 20 years on you cannot reconcile your guilt. You decide to just bury the truth. No one needs to know. You try to maintain a relationship with your daughter. You don’t understand why she can’t just get over it. You sit by as her children slowly disengage from you. They know the truth. The decision to avoid contact was easy for them. It’s not easy for your daughter. You are her mother, he is her father. She tries, but it’s so hard.