Given same-sex couples haven’t had to wait long enough to get married, Married at First Sight continues to stall on showing us the goddamn wedding of the century, by updating us on the heterosexual couples — Jess and Dave, and Michael and Bella.
Eventually we return to New Zealand, where Andy and Craig are about to fake-marry-but-in-a-country-where-they-could-theoretically-real-marry.
But guys, let’s pause for a second. We didn’t say anything last night, what with all the excitement, but there’s one blindingly obvious problem with this match that NO ONE is acknowledging.
We can’t help but feel that… well… Craig’s hairdressing expertise is a little wasted on Andy.
But none of that matters because, oh jeez, it’s Andy’s face. He’s just seen Craig. His expression gives us all the feelings. ALL OF THEM.
Good start, good start. We can’t have the first same sex wedding be a complete disaster.
He's so happy. Everyone claps, because of course they do - this is history in the making. They exchange pleasantries, and the ceremony begins, you know, with the fake celebrant.
Speaking of the fake celebrant... umm, yeahhh. She has sass, but too much sass for such an important event. She's like that aunty that states something factually incorrect and then when you correct her she argues, "That's what I said!"
In fact, that's literally what she does. She gets them mixed up and then denies it. She then gets cranky because they're not putting the rings on the right way. In their defence, THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED IN THEIR HOME COUNTRY. SORRY IF THEY HAVEN'T PRACTICED.
The fussing over the rings goes on for approximately three hours and it's really a mood-killer.
She then says, "Let's hurry along," which had us screaming at the television, "OH MY GOD fake celebrant lady, do you have somewhere to be?!"
Luckily, Andy and Craig have a good 'ol laugh at her expense, which is all marriage is really about.