We need to talk about the name on everyone’s lips.
Jono. Goddamn. Pitman.
He’s the guy whose first response to seeing his experimental wife was “Wow, not what I ordered”.
He’s the guy who explained that he really would have preferred a petite brunette than a curvy blonde.
He’s the guy who told a 32-year-old woman that kids or not, you should find time to work out everyday and there is never an excuse to put on weight.
He’s the guy who lost his temper on a canoe, at an Ikea lounge, and in a restaurant (despite the presence of lots of cheese) all in the space of a week.
Yes – Jono Pitman is the guy every girl dreams.
That's how I dream a man will look at me one day...Image via Channel 9.
Who hasn't said the words; "Oh, if only I could find a man who swears every time someone cuts him off at an intersection, before turning purple and then not speaking for the next two hours. If only..."
Oh wait. No one has ever said those words. Because losing your temper behind the wheel is something you try to avoid for at least the first six months. Because - in case Pitman missed the memo - anger isn't really that sexy.
But despite wanting to throw my shoe/fork/dinner plate at the TV every time he popped up, I'm going to make a confession.
Canoeing is meant to be relaxing. Image via Channel 9.
I'm glad that Jono Pitman was on television.
In fact, I'll take it one step further and say that we need Jono Pitmans on television.
He is a walking bright red flag, waving in the wind.
For some of us, Jono was not a reality TV anomaly. He was uncomfortably familiar.
The moment where Jono and Clare broke up. Post continues below...
I've dated many-a-Jono.
One explained to me that I was an 8 out of 10 (who the hell rates a girl out of 10...?) and the girl he was leaving me for was a solid 10.
One tried to kiss a really good friend of mine two weeks into our relationship. I know this because I was standing there, in the kitchen, with a group of people.
One used to call me while drunk, and just yell profanities that didn't make sense.
One used to go out and seek other girls' numbers, and when I, er, broached the issue, he got very angry and said he couldn't handle me always being so critical.
Sure, Jono didn't technically do any of these things, but this is no longer about Jono-the-person.
It is about Jono-the-metaphor.
Jono = red flags. Image via Channel 9.
Jono represents the red flags we ignore, and we've seen our friends ignore, that are so glaringly obvious to everyone outside that relationship.
The anger. The flippant remarks about staying in shape. The superficiality. The immaturity. The disrespect. The obsession with Frozen (albeit to a lesser extent, but I think it warrants a mention). The dog growling at him and then vomiting - COULD THE SIGNS HAVE BEEN ANY CLEARER?
What Jono's presence on Married at First Sight did, was shine a light on something too many of us experience in private. Something that deep down we think we might have brought on ourselves. As an onlooker, we watched a familiar relationship unfold, where one party ends up feeling pretty bloody awful about themselves.
On behalf of all the girls, who have ignored the red flags in the past, and been left feeling brokenhearted, embarrassed and stupid, I'd like to extend a sincere thank you for Jono.
Thank you for appearing on our televisions and reminding so many of us exactly what it is we don't want.