The reason Married at First Sight is set up to fail.

It goes against everything that we know.

Married at First Sight fever has gripped the nation. Everyone tunes in on Monday nights desperately hoping to see the experiment work.

Please, Relationship Gods, say it’s true. Say that the only thing keeping the singles single is because they don’t have access to a psychologist to match them up.

Please, Relationship Gods, let us blame the fact that we left it all to chance for our failed or barely-perfect marriages.

Well, I’m here to burst your bubble. While I would be happy to see the couples to prove me wrong, Married at First Sight is bullsh*t and we are due to see some failed relationships because of its one flaw.

Image via Facebook.

Here's the thing, love isn't a science.

Don't just take it from me. Psychotherapist Zoe Krupka wrote for about the topic and confirms that while we know more about what love does to us biologically, we have no idea about how it's found.

So how does love actually happen?

While dating sites and the reality show will lead you to believe love is all about being perfectly matched with 'the one', that's not it.

Love happens when you aren't looking. I know, total cliche, and before I found love, I thought that's what annoying in love people would say to piss off the rest of the population. But I stand corrected.

The weeks before I met my now-husband, I had sworn off relationships. I'd spent a good chunk of my single life wondering whether every guy I met would lead to a relationship. It was tiring. It was annoying. It was so confusing trying to read every damn text message, searching for a glimpse of the future.

So, I decided to deliberately not look for a boyfriend. I didn't shout it from the roof tops (if my mum heard me say that, I think she would've had a heart attack). I actually didn't tell a single soul. Just myself. I decided that every guy I met from then on would be some fun. Under no-circumstances would they become a relationship. Not possible. I'd given up on love (sorry, Cupid).

Image via Facebook.

The night I went out to the most disgusting club in all of Sydney (think sticky floors, way too much alcohol etc), I reminded myself that the night would be about me. If a guy wanted to talk to me, good for them. If he seemed interested, that would be nice company that night. That was it.


That night my dear husband decided to show up and ruin my plans. The next morning, he decided to text me. Then he called. Then we went out on a date. And just short of six months later, he was moving into my apartment before he proposed the following year.

That's love. It comes to you when you least expect it. It comes to you in a person you would probably never imagine living happily-ever-after with. It breaks all your rules.

Krupka puts it down to pulling down all of your protective walls, reflecting on the individuals she's counselled in the past who found love:

"They weren’t feeling afraid or cynical and they weren’t barricaded behind walls of self-protection. They weren’t looking for a safe haven or an answer to their prayers. They’d given up their lists and their criteria and their desire for perfection. In other words, they were open to love."

Love is all about that gut feeling, not about a formula. Image via Facebook.

That's the issue with Married at First Sight

The contestants couples are still desperately hoping that the one they wed will be their match. They're relying on science rather than the unexplained.

And they most likely have doubts about whether it will work - their self-protection trigger is still on 'high'.

All the doubt. Image via Facebook.

Recently, Slater and Gordon conducted a survey in the UK with 1,604 divorced Brits on their thoughts on their wedding day. They found that half had doubts that their relationship wasn't going to make "til death do us part". Only a third of all the divorcees thought their marriage would make it.

My biggest concern on our wedding day was tripping down the aisle. Not once did I wonder if I was making the wrong decision in saying "I do". Again, here comes a cliche...I just knew.

Now, I'm not saying my marriage is perfect with fairy dust and daisies floating around us. But it's real, and lasting longer than the 30 days (or however long it's supposed to be) that some of the Married at First Sight contestants are struggling with.

Do you believe love isn't a science?

Want more? Try:

More sex leads to a happier marriage, right? Maybe not.

21 things I hope my husband-to-be knows.