My husband and I haven't had sex since 2011.
I am no longer attracted to him physically. He doesn’t take care of himself the way he used to. We still share the same bed, but we stick to our separate sides.
Touch is rare between us, unless I’m really upset about something and need a hug. I do ask him if he misses that part of our life together but his answer is always ‘no.’
I’ve even told him to find someone who can satisfy that need if I can’t, but he insists there’s no unmet need to satisfy.
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There are many reasons why my husband and I have grown apart over the years, but it comes down to not feeling emotionally or physically supported by him.
He claims to hate confrontation (and who doesn’t?) but he doesn’t address obvious problems we face, which doesn’t work for me.
He also finds more pleasure in lying in front of the TV than going outside or on an adventure with me. I find that boring.
He may be more than 10 years older than I am (I'm in my 50s), but I’ve been with other much older men who share my interests. There is a world of difference between them. He knows he cannot meet my needs so I go elsewhere.
As long as I act respectfully and fulfill my responsibilities, our situation works for both of us.
I wasn’t nervous when I started having outside relationships. My first affair was with a good buddy of mine who I'd known for a while and I was looking forward to... I wasn’t sure exactly what.
The adventure? The excitement? Fulfilling my needs?
I didn’t even know what my specific needs were at the time. We had talked and planned it for months, so the anticipation of something new and stepping outside my comfort zone – knowing it was the first step in a totally new life – overshadowed any nervousness.
Initially, I was after physical fulfillment, so many of my affairs have been strictly physical. Over time, I found that that alone doesn’t do it for me. I want that emotional connection as well. A relationship that includes the physical aspect, but not one based solely on it.