I am proposing an immediate ban on newlyweds giving stupid marriage advice because they really are in no position to give advice, having been married for approximately five seconds.
It’s like someone who uses a toilet suddenly thinking they can give advice on plumbing.
Just because you use the pipes doesn’t mean you can fix the pipes.
Take, for example, newlywed blogger Amanda Lauren, 33 who says the real secret to a successful marriage is to “stay hot” for your husband.
The L.A. bride has written an essay for Your Tango called, “Staying hot for my husband is ESSENTIAL to a successful marriage.” Her husband’s name is Ethan Kass, 35 and he is a screenwriter for TNT. Lucky bastard.
They have been married for a few weeks.
What is the last compliment you texted to your partner? Article continues after this video.
Lauren said, “When we were married a few weeks ago in front of our families, friends and a Rabbi, I vowed to stay hot for [my] husband.” They must have skipped over the, “For better and for worse” part.
“I’ve always wondered why so many women let themselves go in relationships,” she added.
Well, let’s see. Fatigue, stress, illness, childbirth, just to name a few. And the funny thing is my husband still loves me.
Who would have thought?
“Feeling good ultimately allows me to be a better, happier and more considerate partner,” she explains and that’s fair enough, however I’d still like to talk to her in ten years before giving her “stay hot” advice too much weight because I simply can’t be bothered to stay groomed 24/7.
As long as my husband is aware that I do scrub up okay, that's enough for me. So when I am a snotty, disheveled mess, he still has the memory of me in the cute dress with brushed hair the month before.
Maybe a well-placed photo of that night on the fridge might by more time to knit on the lounge in my comfy trackies and his jumper.
Lauren is entitled to her opinion however my concern (frustration) with her advice is that she has seemingly missed the point of marriage entirely.
The whole point of marriage is to find someone who loves you NO MATTER WHAT. Yes attraction is important but it's much more important to simply love each other, to treat each other with love, to show love and the more you do this, the more you just love each other, the less everything else matters.