Warning: Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
My plane flight fear was first realised when, on a trip from Melbourne to Sydney, I noticed a toenail in my vicinity.
The toenail was connected to a toe. Connected to a strange foot. Accompanied by an equally strange smell.
It appeared the smelly foot-owner behind me saw it fit to remove her shoes, before putting her feet up in the teeny crevice where my seat met the wall.
But today I feel like kissing that woman’s phalanges, because Foot-gate of 2016 was a blessing compared to what passengers on a South Carolina-bound flight had to witness this weekend.
A penis. In the throes of urination. Into the back of another passenger’s seat.
There’s a photo to prove it, too.
I would like a refund on my entire life now, please.
According to CBS Denver, an American news station, the peeing passenger (whose name is apparently Michael) relieved himself into the back pocket of another passenger’s seat shortly after being moved from his original seat by airline staff for inappropriate behaviour.
One onlooker told authorities Michael looked “intoxicated and possibly high.”
Well. That is extremely shocking information.
According to a woman who spoke to CBS, when in his previous seat Michael was verbally and physically harassing two female passengers.
Michael sounds like the human version of stepping in a bathroom puddle when you just put socks on.
Thankfully, the man was arrested at the arrivals gate about 30 minutes later.
“The safety and security of our passengers is our top priority at Frontier,” a spokesperson for the airline said.
“We have been made aware of this situation and are working with the appropriate authorities.”
Don’t be a Michael.