PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Do not inject Vaseline into your penis.
Seems obvious, but a man in the UK recently made this mistake, so perhaps it bears repeating:
Do not inject vaseline into your penis.
If you still feel the urge, then please turn your attention to the story of poor Szilveszter, as told by the TLC show Extreme Beauty Disasters.
Szilveszter, 24, thought injecting his dick with petroleum jelly would make it bigger, but all it ending up doing was making his skin fall off.
“I said to my friend I want to lose weight as I think my penis is small. He said you don’t need to lose weight, I can help you. My friend injected in my penis Vaseline. Afterwards I was happy as it looked bigger,” he told Extreme Beauty Disasters. Unfortunately, about 9 months later, things started to go very, very wrong. His penis began to swell and bleed, and an MRI revealed that large, hard lumps had formed beneath the skin. Apparently his body was trying to get rid of the foreign material, which is why ulcers were forming and the skin was splitting.
Szilveszter’s plastic surgeon informed him that the only way to save his penis was to remove the skin, so all the hard gloops of Vaseline could be removed. He went through with the surgery, and a few months later his penis was back to normal.
But still, please, let this be a cautionary tale to men everywhere:
DO NOT INJECT VASELINE INTO YOUR PENIS.