A man in New York has a problem: He doesn’t know if he can continue seeing his girlfriend of a year and a half.
He’s shared his problem with the world via the photographer behind Humans of New York. For the uninitiated, it’s a page with millions of followers that shares inspiring and powerful stories of resident New Yorkers. Only this time, a man has found himself feeling the wrath of the internet.
“At first I told myself I could get past it. I said, ‘Let’s just see how it goes’,” the man, who remains unidentified for obvious reasons, begins explaining.
“We had excellent dates. Everything else about her was exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin something good for that one little reason,” he goes on, drawing us into the relationship he says has lasted a year and a half.
Is it ever, ever acceptable to comment on someone’s weight?
“I feel horrible, but I just can’t get past it. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it.”
Suddenly, you’re feeling bad for him. What is this ‘thing’ that he just can’t get past? He obviously cares. He sounds so tormented. It must be… really bad?
“I can’t bring myself to tell her,” he goes on relentlessly. “We’re going to couple’s therapy next week, but I still don’t think I’ll be able to say it.”
‘What?’ you are thinking. WHAT could possibly bring someone such a level of angst and uncertainty?
“Is there any right way to ask someone to lose weight for you?” the man concludes.
Ermm… No. NO.
This is not how it goes. Breaking up with someone because you “just can’t get past” how much they weigh, says more about you than it does about her. Every. Single. Time.
The internet’s reaction has been golden.
There is this observation – for anyone who’s thinking ‘Oh, he’s just not attracted to her anymore’.
“She didn’t gain weight over the course of the relationship,” one person has commented. “She’s always been this way. If he wasn’t attracted to her, he shouldn’t have let it get to a place where they both cared about each other.”
There is this simple truth:
“You obviously need to move on and let her be loved by someone that does not need her to change.”
And there is this, glaring, solution:
“The easiest weight she can lose is to drop your sorry dead-weight ass.”
A woman’s body doesn’t exist for men, it exists for her and her alone. And nobody should ever be made to feel they have to lose weight for another person.
Anyone who says this bloke might be concerned for her health – well, not once does he even vaguely refer to that. Not to mention, you can never make assumptions about a person’s health based on their appearance.
The problem is clearly with him, not her. And this woman deserves better.