Here at Mamamia, we are very well-versed with that fact often you don’t actually have the time to watch two full episodes of The Bachelorette every week.
And even when you do, who says your free time overlaps with the time the episodes air?
So, to save you the time and the energy, we have bundled together all the Bachelorette recaps so far for you right here. Haaaaaappy reading.
It’s Matty J who ends up with the single date, and can we all just agree to stop calling him Matty J. There isn’t another Matt in the house anymore so we SIMPLY DON’T NEED THE J. He’s not a white rapper. Enough.
Finally, after years of putting up with this sh*t, Osher is getting his moment in the sun. Georgia has given him a date to plan.
We cannot with Lee’s face. Not from day one. It’s so perfect.
It's time for the cocktail party, and like GENTLEMEN, the guys all stand up and greet Georgia. She makes a joke and Clancy mishears her - it's awkward, and he's definitely going home. Alas, the noble Clancy was sent on his merry way.
Courtney gets a single date and he desperately wants to give it back so his bros don't hate on him.
Georgia has always dreamed of going on Safari so they go on Safari and it's a lot like Safari except for the fact that it isn't at all.
The imminent showdown between Sam and Rhys has kept us up all week and it's HERE. They both go home.
Matty J is getting restless because he has suddenly realised he's in with a shot, so calls Georgia over for a game. It's called "Let's play getting to know Matty J", and it involves Matty quizzing Georgia about himself.
They all go into the rose ceremony and it's exceedingly clear who's going home. They're even wearing the same f*cking suit.
Fireman Cam and Georgia roll around on the floor with Dalmatian puppies. It's so cute it broke our eyeballs.
Georgia makes an awkies comment about loving open fires and Fireman Cam is like, "What?" Probably phones home to put her on the arson watch list.
Sam and Rhys compete in a thrilling episode of Australian Survivor and get annoyed when people keep mentioning some random chick named "Georgia".
Matty J goes on a single croquet date and seems to actually love Georgia. Naw. Matty J, you can stay.
Rhys does ANOTHER POEM. ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING US RIGHT NOW RHYS. STOP. STOP IT NOW.
The boys sing a song. It's predictably awful.
Ryan goes home, because who's Ryan?
GEORGIA AND CLANCY GO TO NEW YORK! Just kidding, it's the shitty Bachelorette version of New York, which is just some "New York style activities" but in Sydney.
So, Sydney activities. They're going to Sydney.
Georgia wears a princess dress. She is pleased.
Courtney doesn't even try to win time with Georgia on the group date. She is NOT pleased. She is humiliated. Eff you, Courtney. You're not the boss here. Georgia is the boss here. Etc.
Some intruders come. One is called Matteo.
Matteo goes home after about 45 seconds. RIP Matteo.
Courtney finally gets his shit together and uses his special date-organising-powers.
Courtney and Georgia go "scurfing", which is just... no. NO. No. Thank you. No.
Georgia is forced to dress up as a weird pirate, which is funny for approximately thirteen seconds. Then it's dumb.
Courtney chooses another total rando to spend time with Georgia one-on-one. V strategic, Courtney.
Jake and Sam make Georgia a weird chocolate dessert. Manu would be disappointed. 5/10.
Aaaaand the rando goes home. Goodbye, friend. We hardly knew ye.
The Twins Recap The Bachelorette Episode 3: Lee is the hottest man on TV and everyone is wearing Lycra.
First up: IT TURNS OUT ONE OF THE BACHELORS IS MARRIED. Expel him! Burn him! Or something.
Georgia asks if Lee he wants kids. He plays it pretty cool: "Yeah like whenevs before I die would be ideal but eh."
Georgia makes everyone do push ups for her viewing pleasure. Great call, Georgia. Keep it up.
Courtney AKA recipient of the VERY IMPORTANT first impression rose gets in trouble with Georgia for not taking her on a date.
Rhys says another f*cking terrible poem.
Aaron and a dude we've never seen/heard of/been informed of/he literally wasn't even on the show goes home.
Cable car date/climbing 100m to forest floor/because all dates are adrenaline.
The boys say Fellaaaaaaaas alot when the group date is announced.
Also of note is that Jake is actually very hot and we didn't notice it until now-ish.
There's a photo shoot for a Mills and Boon cover because this is somehow where our quest for gender equality has landed us.
Rhys and Sam descends into a FULL BLOWN WAR.
Rhys has a f*cking poem and it's f*cking terrible.
Roses are distributed, and eventually it is cute, loveable, thrice-pooing Ben who is sent home.
We get to meet Georgia's 16 eligible bachelors, which is frankly bullshit given Richie had 22 women to choose from. It was like The Bachelor version of the gender pay gap.
First, we're introduced to Cameron. He's a fireman. OOOOFT.
Rhys tries to speak French (badly) but jokes on him because Georgia also speaks French.
Carlos, who is a 'business mogul' (that's not a thing) and we think his business is...stripping. He gives her a Tiffany bracelet and eugh. It's all very cliche.
A donkey visits and hands down the donkey is the best thing that has ever happened in the history of The Bachelorette.
A guy named Clancy gets his FACE SHAVED.
Georgia hands out her roses, and sure enough, it's Carlos and a random man, who we never got the pleasure of meeting (we believe his name was 'Dale'? Perhaps? R.I.P.), who go home.