We wanted to have a baby. We weren’t expecting this.
Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to explain how my husband felt.
We’d been married for nearly a year, his younger sister had just had a baby and his older sister had just fallen pregnant.
We were ready to be parents too, and it was time to bunker down and start trying for a baby.
It didn’t happen instantly and everyone told us that was normal, so we kept trying, and trying, and trying. But a year later nothing had happened.
There was something wrong with me – there had to be. I just knew something was wrong.
So I got tested, but all the results came back ‘normal’ – there was nothing wrong with my fertility. But my GP was concerned that we’d been trying for so long with no luck, and he suggested that I bring my husband in to have his sperm tested. I nearly fell off my chair; it had never really occurred to me that men could be infertile. Naïve, I know.
When I got home, I took a deep breath, sat my husband down, and asked if he could get his fertility tested. I explained that I wasn’t suggesting there was anything wrong with his manhood, but that it was just worth knowing to put our minds at ease.
When the results came back, he just sat in silence. For a long time he wouldn’t look at me. He had a low sperm count – three million sperm instead of 15 million. He felt that his manhood had been stripped from him.
I tried to comfort him, but for the first week he barely spoke to me. He walked around as if he could only see through things, through me.
Just as an FYI, this post is sponsored by IVFAustralia, Melbourne IVF and Queensland Fertility Group. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
He went to work and came home like a zombie, just going through the motions of each day. He withdrew from his family – because how could he find joy in his nephew and soon-to-be niece when he couldn’t give me that same gift?
I wanted to support him and show that we would get through this together. So I started researching. I had only studied women’s infertility during our struggles because I was always convinced it was something wrong with me. So I looked up male infertility.