Last night, the Australian public was introduced to Troy. He’s described as “tall, extremely confident and ready for love with a girl he hopes is a cross between Barbie and a cheerleader.”
Oh, and he also brushes his teeth like…. THIS:
Despite all this, his very-real-and-not-at-all-fake wife Ashley seemed rather... impressed with him.
Especially after he uttered some of the most beautiful wedding vows the world has ever heard while standing by her side at the altar.
"I vow to get to know you, to learn how to like you and to grow to love you as we enter this unique relationship together," Troy said.
"I promise not only to listen, but to hear, not only to be honest but to trust, and not only to love but to be loved. I am excited to build our lives together, with a love that will grow with each passing day.
"It is said that love makes the impossible possible. I am already thinking about forever. A forever with you that is about mutual respect, support and love."
READ MORE: The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5 - The man who just stumped Australia.
Which, is all well and good, if he hadn't COMPLETELY RIPPED HIS VOWS STRAIGHT OFF OF THE INTERNET.
Yep, a little basic Googling reveals that Troy appears to have pulled bits and pieces of his vows from a web page aptly named, '100 Wedding Vows For Him'.
To be fair, we're not entirely sure what Troy was supposed to do when he was told he would be writing his own vows for a woman he had never actually met.
It's not as if he has any... shared memories with Ashley to draw upon. And the phrase, "I'll never forget the moment we met.... just now... on our wedding day... in front of all these cameras", doesn't really scream romance.
Listen to Clare and Jessie Stephens discuss Troy, in all his tooth-brushing vow-stealing glory, on our MAFS podcast. Post continues after.
We're also not entirely positive the producers didn't thrust these plagiarised vows into his hands five seconds before showtime as part of some sort of evil reality TV plan to embarrass him in front of the entire nation.
But for some, Troy's completely fake wedding vows were just another part of his personality that has seen him labelled as the show's most "cringeworthy" contestant yet:
So who do you reckon wrote Troy's vows for him? Google perhaps? ????????#MAFS
— Kayla Landman (@KaylaL17) February 4, 2018
Listening to Troy’s vows #MAFS pic.twitter.com/jhd3jsq68m
— Joel McGivern (@fingersmcgivern) February 4, 2018
#MAFS Troy’s vows: ‘I will love you more than I love Colgate Triple Action mint toothpaste’
— SurfDog Bachelor (@TVDarrow) February 4, 2018
Ugh, what's all this crap in Troy's vows about 'forever' and 'wanting to be love'? What happened to all those important things he wanted in a wife like big jugs, bouncy blonde hair and a 'good gene pool'? ???? #mafs
— Bianca Bae (✿◠‿◠) ???? (@BiancaNeveXO) February 4, 2018
LISTEN: Clare and Jessie Stephens debrief on the biggest talking points from the very latest episode of Married At First Sight. Post continues.
Others took issue with some of Troy's other personality... quirks:
Wait. No stop. Rewind. What the actual f—- #MAFS #Troy #WTF pic.twitter.com/JAHEVutg0O
— TvInTheBuff (@in_buff1) February 4, 2018
@MarriedAU if I was on this show and was set up with Troy, I would not only sue channel 9 but the producers themselves, the casting crew, the experts, the cameraman, the boom guy, the make up artists, the wedding suppliers, the work experience kid... #MAFS
— ɱąཞıʂą (@m_a_r_i_5_a) February 4, 2018
Troy seems like the kind of guy that sends girls angry messages if they don’t respond immediately on Tinder. #MAFS
— Áine Ryan (@AineFRyan) February 4, 2018
Guess we'll just have to wait and see how (and if...) this happily ever turns out...