We open on Mishel still reeling from the dinner party, reflecting to Steve, “I learnt a lot and worked out nothing” and omg so true.
If we were trying to explain the events of Wednesday night to a Married at First Sight novice it would go something like this:
Once upon a time there was a (fake) married couple named Aleks and Evarn who told everyone – including (fake) expert Trish – that they were not having sexual intercourse. But a different (fake) husband named Michael decided it was very important he share publicly that this was a LIE, which was corroborated by (fake) husband Josh who said Aleks and Evarn were in fact “rootin’ like rabbits”. The couple in question denied the sex rumours until Michael and Josh started yelling that Evarn TOLD them to publicly announce they’d been having sex so that Evarn could say they weren’t and protect Aleks from… (unclear). Evarn had also been winking at his friends while they lied (or told the truth we honestly don’t know) for him. BUT THEN THERE’S A SERBIAN NAMED BEN WHO ALEKS MET AT A SERBIAN FESTIVAL OBVIOUSLY. According to Michael, who is difficult to trust given the time he cheated on his (fake) wife and lied about it, Aleks went on a date with Serbian Ben and said she was excited to keep seeing him. But Aleks says she just went to LUNCH with her friend GEORGIA and a 50-year-old man who owned the RESTAURANT and okay if it that’s true then where (and who) the f*ck is Ben.
Steve's eyes are darting around the room trying to remember details from last night and he shouts "HOW 'BOUT THE MAN WITH THE BEARD" and we think that's... Ben... but also Sir his facial hair isn't relevant.
Lizzie is liking the gossip which is all well and good except for the fact she thinks Ivan's name is Evorn when ffs it's obviously 'IVAN' but pronounced 'Evarn' and this is why you needed to be here from the beginning.