Mamamia recaps Married at First Sight: A moment's silence for Cameron's vows.

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There are three couples left to make "the ultimate choice" — whether to turn their fake TV marriages into real relationships, or bury them in the very overcrowded MAFS marriage graveyard.

The iPad intern strikes again, delivering darlings Tahnee and Ollie a look at their first meeting.

Ollie wants to die over the cringe of watching himself just three months earlier. Thoughts and prayers for current Ollie because mate, THIS HAS ALL BEEN TELEVISED.

Self-aware king!

Now, to whatever is the opposite of a self-aware king: Cameron.

"What I said was not a bad thing," he says of his actions at the final dinner party, in which he said he wasn't into Lyndall but also that SHE might not be ready for a relationship WITH HIM.

IT CERTAINLY WASN'T A GOOD THING THOUGH, WAS IT?

It's awkward iPad time and OH NO THEY'RE ENJOYING WATCHING IT.

"We're alright," Lyndall concludes, WHICH IS JUST OBJECTIVELY FALSE.

Cam momentarily gets over his aversion to physical touch as they hug and kiss goodbye, lying to themselves that things are... fine.

Grim

At least Evelyn and Rupert aren't lying.

They had a big ol' fight after the final dinner party and now she's leaving without even saying goodbye.

AND WAIT.

They don't even need to go home and talk things out with their family.

They just wanna get this silly TV breakup done NOW.

Well when you put it like that

Rupert has surely prepared some beautifully profound words for the occasion, which he will deliver with strength and confident and oh-

RUPERT'S FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK AGAIN.

Evelyn says she cannot believe the audacity of this man to not only not speak but also not take her on dates or 'fight for her', so she's dumping him.

He's like 'okay but I really liked your dogs, even if they have stupid names'.

Then the [inaudible mumbling] subtitles return, giving dear Rupert a beautiful, awkward, full-circle narrative arch.

I wish Rupert and his constantly tongue-tied mouth nothing but the best

In Perth, Ollie is sticking polaroid photos of him and Tahnee to a suspiciously empty fridge.

The success of their relationship allows the show to do a 'LOOK, THE EXPERTS ARE REALLY GOOD AT THEIR JOBS EIGHT PER CENT OF THE TIME' flashback and I'm happy for them.

But in an effort to make this even a tiny bit dramatic, producers pretend there is doubt about Tahnee and Ollie's decision.

So, Tahnee is worried about long distance because her ex was a dirty, dirty cheater, and Ollie is worried about long distance because he would really miss his friends and family if he moved to Sydney.

Solid effort but no one believes you <3

Their final vows take place in the Blue Mountains, so Ollie can finally get an answer to the question that has haunted him for weeks: are there farms out there?

They are SO excited to see each other and in what world are we meant to think Ollie might say no????

"Coming into this experiment I was looking for a best friend and I'm so lucky to have found that," Tahnee says through tears. "And I'm so grateful to have met you."

A producer sneaks a line in her vows thanking the experts, but otherwise GOD IT'S CUTE. 

Ollie says their relationship is not as perfect as it seems, but unlike everyone else on this trash fire of a season, they can ACTUALLY talk and PROBLEM SOLVE and DEBATE IN A HEALTHY WAY.

And yes, he loves Perth and misses his family etc etc etc, but also HE IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER AND OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER.

BECAUSE DUH.

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

Alright.

Well.

With that wholesome goodness out the way, it's time to return to regularly scheduled programming: Cam and Lyndall being an unhealthy mess!

In Darwin, Cam's mind is clearer than ever: he sees no future with Lyndall because she wants to see her fake husband more than once a year and also likes human touch.

His friend Luke — the same one who got stuck in the middle of their argument during Hometowns — definitely thinks he's an idiot.

Slay, Luke!

Meanwhile, Lyndall hasn't made up her mind even after recounting his sh*tty final dinner party behaviour to her mum. 

Her mum, however, has decided Cam sucks.

Ahead of their reunion, Cam says there's not much to weigh up because... he doesn't even like Lyndall. But after weeks of giving her glimmers of hope, he's decided she "deserves to know the truth".

Lyndall says she has waited her whole life to offer her full commitment to someone and at first, Cam was great.

BUT THEN.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES.

LYNDALL BROUGHT RECEIPTS.

She lists precisely 200 flaws in Cam's approach to their relationship, before saying she drove herself crazy trying to figure out how to be someone he wanted.

"I realised that there was never anything I could do to be the partner you wanted because you simply don't want one."

!!!!!!

She says her recently subsidised Cystic Fibrosis drug has given her a new chance at life and she's not going to waste it on him.

"I won't spend another moment of that life restricted. Not by my condition, not by my body, not by fear and certainly not by you.

"So to put it plainly, stay in your lane and I'll stay in mine. I want to build a life I'm proud of and that life does not include you."

"Well said," Cam responds, and IT'S A WEIRD THING FOR HIM TO SAY BUT I HAVE TO CONCUR.

He reaches for his vows but Lyndall is like... 'why don't you just not?'

OH

MY 

GOD

HE THROWS HIS VOWS ON THE GROUND, WALKS AWAY AND YELLS TO PRODUCERS TO GET HIM OUT OF THERE.

Okay, so I admit, I would've liked to have heard him speak if only for drama's sake, but I think we can safely assume his vows contained nothing... good.

"And I only like kissing fish"

Meanwhile, Lyndall looks like she's moments away from frolicking in this damn field.

She waves her arms around and takes off her fake wedding ring as euphoric music sounds and I am a little shook.

I did not expect Australia's most toxic reality dating show to end with so much... self-love and positivity.

It almost makes up for two months of having to watch Harrison (jk, it does not in any way, shape or form make up for two months of having to watch Harrison).

See you — and unfortunately, all the returning walking, talking red flags — on Sunday for the reunion.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here: 

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Feature image: Channel Nine.