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The Twins recap Married at First Sight: Booka just learned how much her husband dislikes her.

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We open on Melissa muttering, "It's all moving so quick," and yes we guess time goes quickly when you're being repeatedly traumatised. 

But for our newer couples, the trauma hasn't happened (yet). 

Johnny and Kerry learn that it's their Intimacy Week and ugh no one cares just take us straight to the unsolicited feedback that makes everyone cry.

Johnny gets very excited in his genital region, and starts taking his pants off in anticipation. But the first task is to laugh nonstop for five minutes. Johnny doesn't understand, and so listens to the instructions more carefully, to see if maybe he missed the part where Alessandra tells him to insert his penis. Into the vagina. Which is what he thought intimacy was. 

Alessandra has really f**ked me over?? We then find ourselves in Beck and Jake's apartment and like no offence but you should not, legally, be around each other. You both need to go home. But mostly Jake. Because Beck appears to quite like the dinner parties and honestly good for her.

They're still fighting, and Beck tells the camera "I am sorry Jake takes things the wrong way". For example, when she called Jake boring, he didn't become less boring he just said she was being rude which Beck didn't at all appreciate. 

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"I was trying to be helpful..." It's time for Alana and Jason to go to the theatre which is really just a Zoom call in slightly comfier seats. 

Their families are disengaged because no one cares about anyone enough to give them feedback on their television relationship, but none of that matters because Alana and Jason are yelling at each other. 

Apparently Jason was asleep (?) and Alana wanted to play (?) with him, and so he got into a bad mood, but she says he was actually on his phone (?) and either way this story is petty AF. 

We watch as their families absolutely try to mute Jason and Alana and text "omg so sorry, internet was patchy have to run xxxx."

"Weird apparently our internet connection is fine??" Their fight continues all the way home. We learn that apparently Alana keeps saying they didn't talk for seven hours, but Jason says that was while he was sleeping. So, to be clear, Jason wasn't talkative enough during REM sleep. And honestly, more women need to have standards this high. 

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At this point, if there's one thing the experts have learned, it's that these theatre sessions go particularly well when a couple is already in crisis. 

So next up are Booka and Brett. Who are pissing. Each. Other. Off. 

Booka is given the advice from Brett's parents to "lighten up" and for them both to "enjoy themselves" and guys did you miss the part where they're trapped in a fake marriage on the television and it's literal hell. 

For Kerry and Johnny, they've moved on to activity TWO of Intimacy Week and it's...

"What can be more intimate than mashing genitals together?" Confession letters.

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Johnny keeps muttering, "where is the oral sex I was promised genitals," and sweetie we need you to be patient. 

He tearfully confesses to Kerry that he regrets not spending more time with his aunty before she passed away, and Kerry commends his vulnerability. 

When it's her time she says, "Lol I kinda like you baaaah so awks lol" and we don't feel like that was the... point. Of the activity. 

But when we cut to the next morning, we're told they've slept together.

We think that maybe Johnny edited one of the videos of Alessandra giving instructions and dubbed over the top "HAVE SEX WITH JOHNNY. IS THE NEXT TASK. FOR INTIMACY WEEK. ACTUALLY DO IT 3 TIMES." 

Over in Alana and Jason's apartment, they've come to the profound conclusion that their relationship would actually be really, really good if they just didn't fight. 

They both apologise for being s**t but SHUT UP IT'S TIME FOR THE COUPLES TO GIVE SOME FEEDBACK TO THEIR PEERS AND WHAT A GREAT IDEA JOHN AIKEN.

Obviously Beck and Jake are asked to provide 'feedback' to Bryce and Melissa and vice versa, which is exactly what everyone needs after getting yelled at by their parents in a movie cinema. 

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As Beck and Jake craft their letter, Beck dictates to Jake who is her scribe, and it's the most accurate depiction of their relationship we've seen thus far.

'Did you get?? The really good point I made?'

SHHH it's finally time for each couple to read their letters. 

Beck and Jake have written no less than five pages, which initially seems like too many until we remember we could've written 50. Thousand.

Easily.

"You build fear into Melissa to a stage where she is submissive towards you," the letter (entirely directed at Bryce) reads. 

"You don't seem to acknowledge your behaviour is manipulative and aggressive," it continues. But Bryce takes issue with the term 'manipulative', pls.

"Manipulative - I can’t barely say the word so I don’t think I am," he argues and Sir WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING. ALSO, YOU’RE A RADIO HOST. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY MOST WORDS. 

Heh.

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Wot...

For reasons that are unclear, one component of the 'feedback' is designing a task for the couple. 

Beck and Jake decide that Melissa will get to control Bryce for a day - from what he wears to what he eats. She says she wants to go easy on him so he doesn't leave her and it ends up going like... this:

...okay.

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Now it's time for Beck and Jake to read their letter from Melissa and Bryce.

They're told their relationship seems artificial (it is??) and that they've both checked out (they have??), and that their task is for them to swap roles. 

Look. Jake is dressed like Beck and we don't hate it. They're being semi funny yelling insults at each other but in reverse and we guess it's nice that they're laughing at their own toxic behaviour?

Ha... ha.

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It bonds them in a way no one expected, and you know you've got a problem when Bryce and Melissa are giving out better relationship advice than the experts. 

Over in Belinda and Patrick's apartment, they're writing feedback for Booka and Brett. But we can immediately sense things are about to go very, very wrong. 

"I do think that Booka is quite self absorbed sometimes," Patrick says, casually. Not at all understanding that that's a pretty hectic thing to say. About Booka.

"From what I’ve heard from Brett, there’s not a lot of Brett in the relationship," he adds, before dictating to Belinda:

Booka. We have observed that you’ve been thinking about yourself too much and think the world revolves around you.

No. No no no no NO.

You spend time talking about how high your IQ is and how great your band is.

PATRICK.

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Your conversations are too intense, and too dark.

Okay firstly, Patrick. Mate. We don't blow up our friends' relationships without their explicit consent. 

Secondly, Mr Cameraman. Come on now. We've had this conversation several times now. You need to get the footage of Booka being arrogant? Or intense? Otherwise how will we know if it's true?

When Brett reads the letter to Booka, she's obviously horrified. 

Not get your friend Patrick to write a passive aggressive letter? Wtf??

"Patrick doesn’t know me that well, he’s formulated his opinion of me from you," she says, and yes Booka. Correct. 

"How bad have you painted me out to be to your friends?"

Well, lady. Clearly pretty f**king bad.

“It sounds like you just don’t like me. It sounds like you think I’m repulsive as a person.”

Brett thinks that maybe Booka should think about how she might change to be better, and this was not the way to go about it, mate. 

Meanwhile, Belinda and Patrick have been given relationship advice from Alana and Jason, where they've essentially been told to have sex. Now. Many times. In different positions. Maybe on camera. 

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They're set the task of doing 'Titanic style nude drawings,' and while Belinda exclusively refers to Patrick's penis as his 'thing,' Patrick draws his wife like this:

Why. Is. Her. Body. Like. That.

Which is significantly more concerning.

Afterwards, Patrick tells the camera "Belinda and I are going to get into bed and do a few kisses" and dat dirty talk tho.

BUT SHUT UP because it's not over between Booka and Brett. Booka was given the task of setting up a date that's exclusively about Brett, where she isn't allowed to talk about herself at all. 

She sets the entire apartment up as 'Palace Brett' with horror music and honestly we love this approach so much. It says "I f**king hate you" in a really creative way, which we appreciate.

Booka has Brett fish for Brett to catch, Brett plants, a Brett apron and has changed their wedding photo to just be two photos of Brett. 

...

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...

SOZ.

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It's at this point we realise Booka is every character in a movie who cooks a lovely meal for their partner before killing them.

Just when we couldn't be more uncomfortable, she tells Brett there's a new song he needs to hear. Yes, it's called Brett. By the Bretts. And she wrote it. And recorded it. In her anger. 

"If my partner said you don’t make me feel appreciated then I’d want them to feel better..." Brett says, shaking with fear.

But mate.

The difference is YOU DIDN’T TELL HER ANYTHING. PATRICK DID. 

UNTIL TOMORROW NIGHT.

For more gossip and lols, you can follow Clare and Jessie Stephens on InstagramFacebook and Twitter.

In case you missed our previous recaps...

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 18: When you break up in front of your parents.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 17: The most tone-deaf groom in MAFS history.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 16: Bryce 100%, without a doubt, has a secret girlfriend.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 15: The wife who can't stop insulting her 'grotty' husband.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 14: When your wife ruins a stranger's wedding.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 13: The most embarrassing thing we've ever seen.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 12: "I hope everyone in Australia hates your guts."

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 11: We're kind of... into this cheating scandal.

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The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 10: You can't just force people to have sex.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 9. When you're a d**k to your wife on national television.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 8: The beginning of a dirty cheatin' scandal.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 7: How was any of that... allowed.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 6: John Aiken just changed the rules.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 5: When you see your match and can't stop crying.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 4: A bride just realised she had a one night stand.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 3: Precisely no girl wants to be told she's 'not ugly'.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 2: Coco's husband would like to be brutally honest.

The Twins recap Married at First Sight ep 1: You can't just comment on someone's... teeth.

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