Madonna is reportedly touring Australia in 2016. But after many broken tour promises, we aren’t emotionally ready to believe her yet.
This is so exciting! Say many. Madonna is the best! Say others.
Well, I’m calling bullshit. Madonna, you have broken our tender Aussie hearts too many times with your false promises of Australian tours.
Like in 2009, when you announced you were touring for the release of your album Celebration… but no one was able to celebrate anything, were they, because you never came.
Or in 2012, when we actually let ourselves believe you really wouldn’t let us down again and that you would come to our humble country for the launch of your album MDNA. But again, we had our hopes dashed when you cancelled, didn’t we Madonna? You made us look like a fool, yet again.
And the icing on the cake. In 2014, when leaked information to the Daily Telegraph spoke of a promotional tour in Australia. We wanted so desperately to believe. But you never came. You never, even came.
Well not this time. Fool us up to three times, shame on us. Fool us a fourth time and we are putting our cone bras and arseless pants away for good.
Instead, we are focusing our attention on things that are more likely to happen than Madonna touring Australia. Here are just a few of the things I’m going to hope for in the future while I sob quietly in a dark room listening to Like A Prayer.