Madison Missina is one of the funniest, most intelligent and non-judgemental women I have ever met in my life.
She’s also an award-winning porn star.
I got to know her through our upcoming podcast, The Prude and the Porn Star… and while I have learnt more from her in 10 minutes of the show than I did in six years of sex-ed, one of the main things I have come to find out is that there aren’t many things about sex and relationships that she is unwilling to talk about.
Nothing much phases her, and she is incredibly open about what she does.
Apart from one thing: Her true sexuality.
“I don’t know how people are going to take this,” she tells Mia Freedman on a special bonus episode of the No Filter podcast, “I don’t know if when I walk out of here, all of a sudden, my sex work business dries up.
“I’m coming out. I’m gay.” Madison said.
Hear Madison talk to Mia Freedman about the differences between having sex with a man, and having sex with a woman. (Post continues after audio.)
Taking the step to come out publicly is not a decision Madison has taken lightly.
She says she has slept with around 12,000 people. Many of them men. And while she has also had sex on camera with women, she continues to have a fear and self-consciousness about telling the world who she really is.
She’s worried that she will lose clients. She’s worried her sex work will go out the window. That it could kill her business.
But despite all of that, she is done with holding it back. She’s ready to shout it from the roof tops.
For Madison personally, coming out isn’t going to change how she feels about her job, she will continue to be a sex worker, who has sex with men, because in her words, “sex work isn’t about attraction or orientation.”
She has always viewed sex work as work – that she is there is facilitate her client’s sexual desires. The mechanics of sex means she can still find pleasure in it – even if she isn’t particularly attracted to the person she is having sex with.
“Because we’re sexual beings, we can still be sexual with someone who doesn’t match our orientation, and still get pleasure from that. We don’t need to link good sex with that’s the partner of my preferred attraction.” she explains.
Mia, Madison and Madison's girlfriend, Bec.
For 20 years Madison has hidden her true identity. To come to the point where she is now, coming out publicly, has been a long and arduous process for Madison.
"I attempted to come out when I was 23. But what I was confronted with when I went into the lesbian scene...was that I don't fit what a lesbian looks like. I am a sex worker, I have sex with men, I like to be feminine. I remember just running out of there, thinking, 'I'm not accepted here, I thought this was were I belonged. Maybe I'm not [gay].'"
"I was the one who didn't want to be gay in my life. And it's time to own up to that and be free."
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For now, despite all the uncertainties in her future, Madison is enjoying her new identity. And part of that is being open about her new girlfriend, Bec, who she brought into our studio for the interview.
"Bec's been the partner that's been the most accepting and open about it, and two weeks into the relationship, she actually called home to tell her mum about what I do. I've never experienced it, nor heard of it in the industry, where an in-law actually knows that their daughter is dating a sex worker. That was a really big moment for me. Being able to be completely open, and out of the closet." Madison says.
You can hear Madison's full interview with Mia below. For more episodes of No Filter, including our first interview with Madison, you can find us on iTunes, on the Mamamia Podcast App (iOS only) or via your favourite podcast app.
Madison is also the star of a new podcast that we are about to release... the Prude and the Porn star. You can subscribe to it in iTunes, now.