rogue

"I have a hidden bank account." 29 women on what they're lying to their partners about.

The key to a successful relationship is communication – we know, we know.

But sometimes there are things that you feel like perhaps…  your significant other might not need to know about.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We’re talking about secret chocolate stashes or the fact the dogs are definitely sitting on the lounge when they’re not home. Little white harmless lies.

With and without relationships: Single, not single. Post continues after video.

Video by MMC

But after talking to the Mamamia community about what they keep from their partners, we discovered the mental load is alive and well and manifesting in what we’re keeping from our husbands/boyfriends/partners, bringing a disappointing twist to what started out as a bit of fun.

Here’s a list of everything we’re ‘lying’ about to our partners; the good, the bad, and the funny.

  1. I send the kids to homework club and have a wander in the shops.
  2. He has no idea I know how to change a lightbulb. But it makes him feel useful so…
  3. He has got nooooo idea how much I pay for my hair cuts.
  4. We overestimate our income so we get some “extra” money from the child care rebate/benefits once we do our tax, he doesn’t realise that it comes in two payments into my account. So I split the first payment with him and keep the second payment for me.
  5. At least three times a week, when the kids and I get home in the afternoon, I spend 30 to 45 minutes in the garden watering, weeding, raking, mowing etc while the kids play. He legit has no idea and I heard him telling a friend the other day that he’s so glad we have such a low maintenance garden that never needs watering or weeding or any work.
  6. I don’t think my husband realises that dust exists. I’m constantly dusting the house and he just genuinely never seems to notice. I’m actually so jealous that he doesn’t notice.
  7. That it costs more than $10 to have my nails done.
  8. Sometimes I tell him I start an hour early so I can sit under a tree and read in silence.
  9. I have a hidden chocolate stash in the crisper in the fridge, aka, the one drawer he never opens.
  10. Sometimes I leave him and the kids at home to go to the “gym” and do absolutely nothing but sit on my phone in my car undisturbed.
  11. That my weekly 1.5 hour pilates class is actually only an hour. The extra 30 minutes is for coffee and cake with no sharing.
  12. I take the tags off things I buy and hide the bags and then claim to have had them “forever”. The other day my fiance said “Some girls shop for a new outfit every week, you barely spend any money.” And I was like yesss.
  13. I used to have to drive an hour to and from my partner’s place for four years before we moved in together, and almost every single trip I would stop and get an icecream/chips/lollies. Once I got one magnum from a servo drove another 10 minutes and got another magnum from a different servo.
  14. He has no idea that when he isn’t there, and I’m with his dogs, I throw all the rules out the window and let them in the bed.
  15. My sister smoked the entire time she was engaged and until she got pregnant after they got married. She occasionally still smokes and her husband has absolutely zero idea.
  16. Told my partner I was going to pilates but then missed the class so drove around for an hour, and stopped in at Maccas. I told him I had a great class.
  17. I had a girlfriend who had a cleaner for two years that her husband didn’t know about.
  18. When I get petrol I chuck a few magazines onto the bill.
  19. He doesn’t know that you need to take the lint out of the dryer.
  20. He doesn’t know just how much TV our two-year-old watches while I deal with the baby.
  21. He doesn’t know that I buy a block of chocolate and hide it in the office so I don’t have to share… then when I “go to the toilet” I scoff a few pieces.
  22. That I buy at least one new article of clothing a week.
  23. That while he’s asleep and I’m laying next to him I pluck the random hairs that grow (on me) in all those weird places.
  24. Botox.
  25. I know someone who has a hidden bank account for guilt free fast food as her partner wouldn’t approve of it.
  26. I keep any coins or folding money I find in the laundry and store it in a jar. I use it to pay for my girl’s Christmas lunch/night out. Last year I cashed over $270 at the coin counter at the bank before I went.
  27. I steal my girlfriend’s tops sometimes. I just stash them in my drawers and pretend they’re mine.
  28. My partner doesn’t realise that I make afternoon tea every Saturday for our country sport. He always wonders why I make rocky road Friday and then it’s gone.
  29. He doesn’t realise that when I go to the shops and leave him with the toddler that I spend a solid 10 minutes in the car scrolling my phone before I get out.

What do you do, that your partner doesn’t know that you do? Let us know in the comments below?

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