Valentine’s Day is upon us again; the day that is dedicated to romance and love.
For some, it’s a day that’s thoroughly planned out, resulting in restaurant bookings and through-the-roof sales of red roses, chocolates and lingerie. For others, it’s a day to forgo the elaborate and expensive celebrations and delare that we don’t need a commercialised holiday to express our love and devotion to our partners.
Each year I watch as some couples are swept off their feet, some are united in their disdain, and others are disappointed or confused by their partner’s participation (or lack thereof) in this day of love.
From where I sit, whether red roses are your thing or not, Valentine’s Day is a day where romance takes the forefront of pretty much all of our minds.
As a sexologist, the main reason couples seek me out is because their relationship, their sex life has just lost its spark. “It was there in the beginning, but somehow life got in the way, I thought we were very compatible but it seems that we are just two different people.”
To that I say: you’re right. All couples are just two different people and life always gets in the way. That’s the point and the beauty of long-term relationships. But regardless of how different we are as individuals, we all crave an experience of feeling loved.
Relationship counsellor Dr Gary Chapman noticed this dynamic in his sessions and wrote one of the most relevant and simple relationship books of our time, The Five Love Languages.