Australia, I love you dearly. And you get so many things right.

But when it comes to Love Island, you’re just not cutting it.

You’ve had two attempts now, and Love Island UK still reigns supreme even in their “winter” season (which is apparently much more risky because: winter.)

It’s probably important to preface that yes, we understand that Love Island in general is slightly problematic.

Here’s a snippet of the new UK season. Post continue after video.

There’s dental floss bikinis, strange challenges that incorporate lots of kissing everyone in the house while covered in goop/water/goop, and a lot of talk about abs, boobs and perfect faces.

BUT. It’s a bloody great watch.

Unfortunately I, like much of Australia, am struggling to stay patriotic and stick with Sophie Monk and her Aussie crew, and am instead being drawn back to the OG. The Australian version of Love Island just lacks… something, and for a long time I’ve tried to work out what it is. So here, I’ve unpacked why the UK just keeps winning at this format.

The contestants.

Sure, our version had some lovely people on it. Don’t get us wrong.

But when it comes to diversity, backstory, and just all-round interesting people to have on our TV screens, the UK beats us, no questions asked.

Their seasons are full of quirky characters, from all walks of life. Whereas our contestants (sorry guys) all kind of blur into one.

On the current season of Love Island UK, we’ve got a billionaire, someone in politics, a singer who has dirt on a famous rapper, a footballer turned police officer, a coffee bean entrepreneur, a couple of builders and a medical PA, to name a few.

Let's rewind to Love Island Australia 2019.

We had a model, a model, a model, a model, a fitness coach, a model, an actor, a model, a model.

Not even kidding.

There were at least 7 models, and you just kinda get the vibe (a lot more than the UK) that our Aussie islanders are there for their profiles first, love-life second.

Then there's the stats, as "InkedUpSHAQ" pointedly explained recently on Twitter.

The UK show has been running since 2015, and has some impressive figures.

The OGs. #LoveIsland

Married.
Married.
Married.
Still together. pic.twitter.com/IaBuJauLUT

— Alex SHAQ Shafiq ???? (@InkedUpSHAQ) January 13, 2020

2019's Love Island UK season still has Curtis and Maura and Molly and Tommy together six months later, bringing the total number of successful Love Island relationships to six. SIX. That's more than Australia's had in like 134 seasons of Married at First Sight. 

But there's not only relationships - Love Island UK is responsible for a few marriages and babies, too.

Of course, we have only two years to compare ourselves against, but our couples are already dropping like flies. We're not confident about how we'll fare five years down the track.

Two months out of season two, we've got Jessie and Todd and Anna and Josh going strong, and there's just a single standing relationship from season one: Josh and Amelia.

Budgets.

Ok, we're sorry. But why does the off season UK version get a house that looks like this?

An AUD $10 million mega mansion spread over 14,531 sq ft in South Africa???

Don't get us wrong, Australia's mansions are still beautiful mansions that we can only ever dream of visiting - let alone buying. However, they are dwarfed in impressiveness (and space for activities) compared to the UK.

Our first mansion was in Mallorca in 2018:

Our second in 2019 was in Fiji:

Dates.

Let's not forget about the dates.

The UK always manages to make their dates look super luxe and desirable.

For the Australian version, they just dump couples in the middle of strange pools?! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Even the voiceover guy was like: "Unfortunately our date producer stuck them on an island in a paddling pool by a field of cows."

He wasn't even joking.

Vibe.

Maybe it's the accents?

Maybe it's the quirky characters?

Maybe there's more juicy storylines because Aussies are too "tell it how it is" therefore not allowing problems to simmer and then ultimately explode?

There's just something about the UK version which makes it more endearing, believable and watchable.

Ovie alone has us completely converted to Love Island UK. Am I right?

via GIPHY

You can watch the latest season of Love Island UK on 9NOW.