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As a mother of a young boy about to enter into his tween years, I became increasingly disturbed watching a confronting new doco on Netflix.

Quite frankly, I'm petrified.

' Inside the Manosphere' by acclaimed documentarian Louis Theroux, claims to investigate a growing ultra-masculine online network and its controversial influencers.

 Watch: See the full 'Inside the Manosphere' trailer here. Post continues below.

I went straight to my girls' Whatsapp chat, (my go-to brains trust of professional working mums) to see if anyone had heard of the term 'manosphere' or knew what it meant. None of them knew.

Then I asked a group of my son's grade six peers at school, throwing out names like Andrew Tate and the like. They knew. They are 11. This is the first reason every parent needs to watch this. 

The 'manosphere' is the umbrella term for a mix of online spaces that promote masculinity, often with misogynistic views of what makes a "real man", according to the eSafety Commissioner.

While the topics might start out seeming quite harmless, there is also a side where "manfluencers" are telling boys and young men the world is against them, that they have to play outside the system to get what they want. Get jacked, get rich, get girls. Take control. 

From my research, they focus on four key pillars;

• Women now have all the control

• Society doesn't care about men

• Feminism has ruined society

• Gender roles are set by biology and evolution

These influencers position themselves as the answer to young men's insecurities. They target their loneliness and vulnerabilities. They address their interests like fitness, status/wealth, power and control, then offer them guidance. Content on life skills soon becomes a gateway to outdated views.

It's shocking, vile and dangerous. 

I have a lot to say about the self-proclaimed 'controversial' content creators in Louis' doco. It's clear to me, as we get an inside look into their world views, that these men are trying to get rich.

Even when Louis curiously asks one of them, 'Why don't you just try and be a good person?' his explanation alludes to the fact that that won't make him rich. Wow.

Shocking content gets hits, and hits make money.

But there comes a risk that if we blame the manosphere and its influencers, we may just create more opposition within young men who could just head deeper into an ideology.

Millions of followers, young boys and men are lapping this content up in truck loads. But why?

I'm going to say something we may not be ready to hear. 

I think we've pushed our boys there. 

By we, I mean our wider society.

Boys and men have historically felt pressure on them to succeed. Man up, win, earn, control. Combining this with the Metoo movement and the term 'toxic masculinity' all the while neglecting to provide enough positive stories of what masculinity is, we've managed to isolate young boys where they feel unvalued and alone. They feel misunderstood and unsupported. 

Cue… the internet. Search for an answer. Hello Manosphere. 

A space where charismatic males have their back. Where their truth about life feeling hard and unfair with the reality of traditional financial pathways to independence becoming harder than ever are validated and a solution is given. Belonging is found.

As a long standing supporter of The Man Cave, a preventative mental health charity, I've seen first hand where boys are at and their 2026 research speaks volumes;

1 in 2 teenage boys say they feel constant pressure to be successful. 1 in 4 teenage boys feel like society doesn't value boys/young men anymore. 1 in 2 say how they feel about themselves depends on how they perform.

As parents, we watch as our children construct their belief systems around gender relations, identity and values and I can say first hand how easy it is to be triggered if/when we see our kids acting out. I see it with my own son and I jump in there, usually with a raised voice, to knock it down with the aim to squash any unhealthy attitudes. 

Listen to The Quicky. Post continues below.

However, it seems that criticising, shaming and judgment is simply not the answer and only results in pushing them further away, potentially into the open arms and pockets of the 'manosphere'.

After watching this doco and informing myself on all aspects of this issue, I'm now going to try a different angle. 

Seek to understand, as opposed to criticising.

I'm going to start the conversation by asking, do you think society cares about boys? Do you feel pressure to succeed? What is success to you? What do you think makes a real man? 

Even if the answers trigger me, I'm not going to react the way I used to. I've realised this only creates resistance rather than connection. I will try to explore his answers and the mechanisms behind his thinking and ideas. 

This is a societal issue, not one as parents we can handle alone. We have to hold the tech giants to account. The government needs to review algorithms. Schools need more programs like The Man Cave where safe spaces are created for boys to feel seen and heard. 

Teenage boys need us now more than ever.

Feature Image: Supplied.