
I just cried through sex.
And not because it was just so beautiful, because there were candles upon candles upon candles, or because I had purchased some gorgeous lingerie which hubs admired for the standard 7.6 seconds and then ripped off… I wasn’t crying because we had whispered sweet nothings to each other and I was just so happy I couldn’t contain it anymore….
I cried because I didn’t want to have sex with my husband tonight. I just wanted to sit on our couch after dinner, chat about random things that happened to us today, laugh at stupid things on Facebook (except for the ads halfway through my dog videos – they are never funny, Mr Zuckerberg) then go to bed, cuddle and cut it off before his 7000 degree breath singed my hair off and go to sleep. With him by my side – just like normal. Like a normal night. That I love – with him. But I have to have sex with my husband tonight. Because infertility.
Being told when to have sex completely removes the fun from it. It gets to the stage where if you are going to tell me to have sex, can you also please tell me the position and how long it should take, so that I don’t have to, yet again, think of this. I cried because sex is getting really hard, and it never used to be hard (pun intended). Sex used to be easy, feel good and something we both enjoyed. And now sex is a job. Sex is something we do when we are told to, and don’t even think about when I am not ovulating because what would be the point? Sex is for making a baby, and we cannot make one of those three out of the four weeks of a cycle so why would we have sex?
I cried because we are running out of positions, our go-to moves are boring and I could not tell you the last time I had an orgasm. I cried because foreplay just wastes time, foreplay is only to get you in the mood and there isn’t enough foreplay in the world to get me in the mood.
Monique Bowley and Rebecca Judd take a look at the many ways of getting sperm into an egg, on the first episode of our pregnancy podcast.
I cried because we don’t have time to take our time, this is a job with a deadline and no time for tomfoolery. I cried because having sex with your husband should not be a job or be hard (well, at least part of it should be hard WINKY EMOJI FACE AND THAT IS IT NO MORE HARD JOKES FROM NOW ON THE WORD HARD LITERALLY MEANS HARD AKA DIFFICULT PROBLEMATIC TRICKY TOUGH AND TESTING YOU DIRTY GUTTERBRAINS).
I cried through sex because we thought we would mix it up and take it out of the bedroom but that means risking getting sperm over another part of the house so quick run upstairs and grab the sex-pillow so we can cover the couch. Then he came back down the stairs and started fucking around with a candle and couldn’t find matches and the tiny miniscule part of me that had revved up enough energy to have sex was gone, it died and now I knew what was coming.
I never thought that emotionless sex was possible when you were having it with your husband that you love, but it is. It flat out should not be a thing but it is.
Top Comments
You can try as long and as hard as you want to have a baby. Putting the blame on your husband and putting him down is only defiling yourself and leads to your destruction. There's only one who will decide to bless you with a baby and he's your creator in Heaven watching everything you do and say. It is solely up to him to bless you with a child. He decides to give you children (children are a heritage from the lord.) So the next time you flip out on your husband and have vain imaginations remember this. God is just and perfect he knows what's best for you and except it, there's is a reason why and you need to trust him. Fear God and seek him and be baptized in the name of his son. Seek the kingdom of God and he will comfort you.
You have a problem with reading comprehension. This woman did the opposite of ‘flip out’ on her husband. She did the opposite of place the blame on her husband. Read the article again. You were obviously too excited to get down here to the comments and start evangelising to read it the first time.
P.S. It’s “accept”, ya gronk.
I thought she was beautiful about her husband. This piece was really sad and pretty accurate on how it feels trying to get pregnant, especially when you are older or with fertility issues.
Religion is supposed to be comforting, supportive and encouraging faith, no? Not punitive, cold and misogynist like your tone-deaf comments.
My heart breaks for you and your hubby.
Hold each other close. You are tough, strong and resilient.
You CAN get through this and enjoy it too.
Sending you so much love x