real life

This guy really needs a date to a wedding. We can't imagine why.

Well who wouldn’t jump at this opportunity?

Look out, ladies. Michael is in need of a date. So much so, that he is willing to give you a beer from his cousin’s car. Two at most.

HEY BIG SPENDER.

Michael, who lives in Waterford, Ireland, stuck up posters around the township to try and find a partner for his sister’s wedding.

Apparently beggars CAN be choosers. For someone who has resorted to poster-plastering, Michael has some pretty explicit specifications. For starters, if you’re not into Karate, or at least can’t pretend to be into Karate, move right along. This is not the date for you. 

You’ll probably have to put in some study time too, to be sure you’re on top of your ‘relationship’ history, including pet names. Michael, continuing the martial arts theme, has gone with: Sensei.

ADVERTISEMENT
looking for a wedding date
Wax on, wax off. Karate Kid is a must.

“In return, you will get a free meal,” he says.

If you’re anything like me, you might be willing to overlook the form of the invitation for the promise of free food. But if it is the idea of an open bar that seems somewhat appealing to you, think again. You’ve got to pay for your own. Or drink (probably warm) boot beer.

No thanks. As charming an evening as this sounds, Michael, we’re going to have to pass.

According to JOE this isn’t the first time Michael has taken to the streets to get things done. His previous (and equally specific) requests included a fitness trainer, a songwriting partner and a wrestling tag-teammate.  


A+ for effort, Michael. But a word of advice- maybe tone down the specifications a notch (or seven) next time. And ditch any reference to vehicular beverages.

What’s the best/worst invitation you have ever received.

For more hilarity from the depths of the internet:

Introducing the C-String: A terrifying thing trying to make its way into your bottom.

Drunk man in undies breaks into house. Eats all the chips.

“I can never travel to Wangaratta again, ecause of hand jobs.”

Man in prison for eating last boyfriend is looking for new boyfriend.

FROM OUR NETWORK
00:00 / ???