“If you loved him you wouldn’t move”
“I was in a long distance relationship once. He cheated on me.”
“You’re hardly going to stay together when you live in separate states”.
When I announced I was moving states for work and leaving my partner behind, these were the most common responses I’d get. Offensive, rude, condescending responses that immediately made me regret both my move and my decision to tell this person.
I’ve been in a relationship for four years and about four months of that has been long distance. We used to spend most days together and now we’re lucky if we see each other every three weeks for a night or two.
It’s an incredible adjustment and was a hard decision to make but moving was the right thing for me.
My partner and I before I moved.
However my resolve is not helped by the many, many people who think they know my relationship better than I do.
Every time someone would shove their opinion in my face, I’d immediately get defensive. Long distance relationships can ABSOLUTELY work, I’d tell them. I’m not the first person to do long distance, and I definitely won’t be the last. Their expression says ‘you don’t fool me’ and it’s confirmed each time I speak to these people and the first question they ask is ‘are you two still together?’
I’m a firm believer in long distance relationships because I have to be. And because the evidence tells us it can work.
Even though long distance relationships can make you feel incredibly lonely, you’re not alone. 14 million people in the US right now are in a long distance relationship.
Three months into the long distance relationship.
Virtually every one of our favourite celebrity couples have had to do long distance at some point.
Actors Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn? They’ve been together since 1981, juggling long distance for a lot of that time.
Top Comments
Congratulations on making it work! We've seen a few of these things work out when people manage their partner's expectations (see https://thepantslessbear.wordpress.com/2015/04/22/long-distance-relationships/). Best of luck with it all!
I agree! It's about your committment to each other, and if it works, it works. I am in a long distance relationship between Sweden and Australia, pretty much as far apart as you can possibly get! But it absolutely works. The steps you mentioned are key!! Having something to look forward to is really important.