It’s been a long thirteen and a half years in social isolation.

We were so young in January. So naive. We thought 2016 had been a bad year because Donald Trump was elected US President. It turns out that was a perfectly fine year by comparison and we’re sorry we were ever rude about it. We just had no idea how bad things could actually… get.

In the early days of 2020 we wrote New Year’s resolutions in overpriced diaries and whispered to ourselvesthis is going to be your yearwhile booking overseas holidays to countries that would soon be closed. Indefinitely.

We fussed over Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s reunion at the SAG Awards and upon reflection, that story really had very little bearing on our lives. And the months to… come.

Instead, we probably should’ve been paying more attention to the news coming out of China about this rather contagious virus that had started in a wet market in Wuhan.

But then Gwyneth Paltrow released a vagina scented Goop candle and we got distracted again.

NO. By March it was time to FOCUS.

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It’s now been a little over two months since Australia first initiated social distancing measures. There was all the complicated maths about keeping a distance of two metres squared unless you were a teacher performing a haircut at a wedding in which case you could have 11 people at your boot campbut don’t you dare practise barreand we did not like it at all. Then Prime Minister Scott Morrison really wanted to go to just one more rugby league game, please, before everything shut down, and everyone said, “Sir… no” and he reluctantly agreed.

When we saw the videos coming out of Italy, with locals singing on their balconies, we thought we’d be the same. “Yeah,” we said to ourselves, “we can do unity and community spirit and shit.”But then we remembered that we areAustralianand we’re not very good at beingearnestso just laughed at memes and bitched about our neighbours who were still going to the beach.

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Since then, we’ve had a lot of thoughts. Here are 25 of our most shameful.

What other thoughts do you reckon we’ve all had in social isolation? Let us know in the comments below.