Teenager. Noun. A person aged between 13 and 19 years.
That there above is the dictionary definition of a teenager. Now whilst it’s certainly not untrue, it’s also not really giving us an accurate description of what it’s like to be a teenager. Or how it feels to live with one. So that’s why I’ve helpfully put together this handy list –
How you can tell you have a teenager in the house:
1. You don’t even realise they occupy the same house as you until the wi-fi stops working.
2. The pump pack of moisturiser and tissues magically disappear. Every. Single. Night.
3. You need a hazmat suit just to enter their bedroom.
4. You now realise that newborn sleep deprivation was a cakewalk.
5. You are made to feel as if you’ve committed a crime for asking a simple question.
6. You’ve heard the word ‘literally’ misused so many times that you’re surprised your head hasn’t literally exploded.
7. You no longer need to use Google because you have a teenager who knows everything.
8. ‘IDK’ is the standard responses to most of your questions.
9. You suggest that they should hang out with their friends and they continue to stare at the computer screen and mumble, “I am.”
10. You continuously run out of hot water. There was a time when you couldn’t get your child into the shower. Now, you almost have to physically extract them morning and night. On the upside, they’re clean. Which is more than can be said for their bedroom
11. They are always bored. Never bored enough to do the dishes or clean their room, but bored enough to moan about it how bored they are.
12. There is no food in the house. A teenager’s “snack” consists of approximately 15 weetbix, three ham sandwiches and a litre of milk. You genuinely start to consider purchasing your own farm to cut costs.